To: Bridgeheads L. Raspiest, Twila,
and Yankertina Lemelin

I don't need any Sensationall revoolution in medicine
to E''nlarge my p''enis up to 10 cm or up to 4 inches!
Even if Its h'erbal solution what hasnt side effect,
but has 100% guaranted results,
thank you for your concern,
but really, no thank you.


(and)



Aw!
Sara brought me chocolate
back from Ireland.
Sweeeet.


(and)

General advice to those who watch "Hell's Kitchen"
and keep the cellphone closeby on the couch
only so your best friend can call,
screaming at you during commercials
"YOU'RE A *beepin* DONKEY!! GET OVER HERE!
WHAAT...WHAAT ARE YOU THINKIN', YOU DONUT?!"
while you scream similar things back:

Don't forget to put the cellphone back into your purse
unless you really like losing your bad-ass parking space to
drive home to get your phone, still on the couch.
Ooo-yeah, and it's raining now.
You *beepin* donkey and/or donut.

Y'never know. This advice may come in handy someday,
and no thanks necessary.