Monday, October 31, 2005

well, I didn't get home until 5:30, but man, really.
they even did a cover of Britney's "Toxic."
very nice.

hooray for hurra torpedo and 100% genuine Norwegian buttcrack.

ps: these guys are tall.

as long as you have too much to do anyway,
it's that time of year again:
National Writer Month starts tomorrow.

1999: 21 participants and six winners
2000: 140 participants and 29 winners
2001: 5000 participants and more than 700 winners
2002: 13,500 participants and around 2100 winners
2003: 25,500 participants and about 3500 winners
2004: 42,000 participants and just shy of 6000 winners

my mom: you know, you should be a writer.
me: yeah, well, that's part of what I do for a living, ya know. copywriter.
my mom: oh no, i mean a real writer.


Saturday, October 29, 2005

What am I gonna be for halloween?

Ecstatic, if these guys really show up as promised
for the annual Hell on Earth party.

I love hurra torpedo. And bourbon and cokes.

he was injured...bad injured.

yet another good one from

Friday, October 28, 2005

thank you, mistress jacquie, for "Bushes" at*

now i'm stuck on this remix by Markus Nikolai and must have it.

and for all those out there
who think women are just mainly stupid
for putting themselves through something
as painful as bikini waxes, well, you could be right.

but don't forget, it's that special kind of stupidity
that keeps the world fully-populated,
so you better embrace it.


*and, check out the Le Tigre video also found @

Thursday, October 27, 2005

all i want for xmas is something flashy.

Only 89.022 US american dollars, hmm?

"What time is it?... I have no idea, but this is the coolest watch I've ever had."

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

wheoo heoo, i'm rich!

It's been awfully good knowing you, but I am now officially Upper-Class Rich Folk now.


BATCH: EGGS-652-067-222
This is to inform you on the release of the EURO MILLION INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY held on the 19th of JUNE 2005.
The results was released on the 21st of JUNE 2005. Your email address was attached to ticket number 331-554-075-495 with serial number 321-570-160-006 that drew the lucky numbers of 00-87-85-69-89, which consequently won the lottery in the 1st category.
You have therefore been awarded a lump of 550,000.00(FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY THOUSAND EURO ONLY) cash credited to file with REF: NÂș EGS/774/161/888
This is from €5,500,000 (FIVE MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND EURO) in cash among the 20 participants finalist playing 100 full tickets in which 10 winners was selected.
Your fund is now deposited with Santa Lucia Security Company and insured in your email address. Due to mix up of some numbers and names, we ask that you keep this award from public notice until your claims have been processed and the money remitted to your account.
This is part of our security protocol to avoid problems from participants as it has happened in the past.
All participants were selected through a computer ballot system drawn from 25,000 names from Asia, Australia, New Zealand, Europe, North and South America, Middle East and Africa .
This programme is sponsored by EUROPEAN UNION/BILL GATES and WORLD INTERNATIONAL LOTTERY ORGANISATION TO PROMOTE and ENHANCE the use of SOFT WARE IN THE GOBAL WORLD. We hope your lucky name will draw a bigger cash prize in the subsequent programs. To begin your lottery claims, please contact your claims agent.

Telephone number: 0034-620-692-135 ,

you are required to present your information of identity to prove you are the user of this email address, either your country passport or any other valid identity is required.
Remember, all winnings must be processed not later than two weeks from the day you receive this notification.
Any requirement not met before this date,funds will be returned to the EUROPEAN UNION MINISTRY OF FINANCE HEADQUATERS. Also be informed that 10% of your lottery winning belongs to the security company because they are the company assigned by the European Union to process your winnings to you.From your winnings, 10% will be collected after you have received your winning prize because the money is insured in your e-mail address and can not be removed.
Remember to quote your reference and batch numbers ( BATCH: EGGS-652-067-222 REFERENCE: 77/13/KTT) in every of your response to your claim agent. Further more, should there be any change of address, inform your claim agent as soon as possible.A copy of your lucky winning ticket and your deposit certificate will be sent to you by your claim agent, DR WALES TOM.
Once again from all members of our staff CONGRATULATIONS for being a part of our International promotions program.
NOTE:winners below eighteen years ( -18yrs ) are disqualified from this programme.
We wish you good fortunes.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

-----Original Message-----

From: Shaun

Sent: Thursday, October 20, 2005 9:57 AM

To: Full-Time

Subject: Donuts

There's lots of donuts by the coffee machine, I brought a bunch and Michelle did too. Eat some.

From: Mike

Sent: Thursday, October 20, 2005 10:05 AM

To: Shaun; Full-Time

Subject: RE: Donuts

Supersized America forces changes on boats, planes

October 18, 2005

Supersized Americans aren't just busting out of their belt sizes. They're forcing a reexamination of minimum weight standards for everything from hospital beds to cargo in small planes and passengers on ships.

Even caskets and cemetery vaults are coming in larger sizes to accommodate today's larger American.

There's no question Americans are getting fatter. About 65 percent of Americans are overweight, up from 46 percent in the 1970s, and a Rand Corp. study says the number of adults who are extremely obese - more than 100 pounds overweight - has quadrupled since 1986 to about 4 million people.

That extra heft is not only requiring new standards for the width of seats in airplanes and football stadiums, but also the width of doors and size of rooms in hospitals.

It's also making boats and planes dangerously top-heavy.

The National Transportation Safety Board cites the March 6, 2004, capsizing of the Lady D, a 36-foot water taxi in Baltimore Harbor, in which five people drowned.

The Lady D was carrying only 25 people, no more than its limit. But the NSTB added the weight of all aboard and concluded that the boat was 700 pounds over its 3,500-pound capacity when it capsized.

NTSB Chairman Ellen Engleman Conners said the problem is the Coast Guard set its standards in the 1960s, when the average passenger weight was calculated at 140 pounds.

"Average adult weights have increased by nearly 25 pounds in the last 40 years," she said, urging the Coast Guard to come up with new standards.

Angela McArdle, a Coast Guard spokeswoman, said the agency is taking another look at its 40-year-old standards and has contracted for a research project to come up with recommendations. "It's in study now," she said, noting the regulations could affect passenger loads in about 20,000 vessels operating in America's coastlines that come under Coast Guard jurisdiction.

After a boat carrying 47 elderly passengers capsized on Lake George this month, New York Gov. George Pataki directed state park officials to adjust the weight limits on boats in New York's parks from the 140-pound average to 174 pounds to reflect the changing dimensions of the average American.

The NTSB said outdated weight standards also played a role in the 2003 commuter plane crash that killed 21 people in Charlotte, N.C. The Federal Aviation Administration has revised its weight standards for aircraft, requiring aircraft owners to use 174 pounds as the average weight of passengers instead of 160.

The increased weight of Americans has prompted other changes. Elevator manufacturers no longer install passenger limits in elevator cabs, but instead set gross weight limits for what elevators can carry.

The Center for Science in the Public Interest, a Washington interest group that campaigns against fatty food and sugary sodas, has compiled a list of other routine changes a fatter society has required. Thanks to vanity sizing, the group notes that today's size 10 for women was sold as a size 14 in the 1940s and sales of plus-size clothing for women amount to a quarter of clothing sales.

The store chain Casual Male Big & Tall said surveys found that men don't particularly like the Big & Tall label and so is changing the store name to Casual Male XL.

Big changes also are being made to hospital equipment. Hill-Rom, a Batesville, Ind., supplier of health-care equipment that is part of Hillenbrand Industries, says it is offering an array of new equipment for use in bariatric medicine - the treatment of obesity.

Suzanne Bish, marketing manager for the company, said hospitals are increasingly buying instead of renting items like the 1,000-pound capacity beds Hill-Rom makes.

"With the explosion we've seen in the patients, there's a demand for more bariatric products," she said. She said hospitals need the larger beds, which are 40 inches to 50 inches wide, to handle the widest and heaviest patients weighing 300 pounds and 400 pounds.

She said it's not just the patients who need the wider beds and wider seats, but the nurses and other health-care workers need larger equipment and stronger stretchers so they can conduct their routine tasks.

Bish said the company also advises hospitals in establishing wards for bariatric medicine patients, who require larger rooms for the larger equipment, larger doors to get through and different styles of bathroom equipment. "Wall mounted toilets and sinks aren't good," she said.

For end-of-life considerations, Batesville Caskets last year launched its "Dimensions" line of supersized burial caskets.

Joe Weigel, spokesman for the company, said demand from funeral homes last year for oversized caskets continued to increase. Weigel said casket size has been traditionally limited by the 30-inch-wide vaults into which they are finally placed. Oversized vaults are now made that can accommodate 32-inch-wide caskets.

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Just in case you missed this at charlie's...

Someone. Help me, please, anyone. What do I do here.

Should I laugh or should I cry? Where do I look?! I'm so embarrassed, I don't even know where to look. And now, I'm guilty because they practiced so hard for so long. And now, I'm pissed because I wish I had that kind of time to practice so hard for so long. And now, I want popcorn and SnoCaps. What?

Is this child abuse?

This is how I felt at my grandmother's funeral. Now I feel guilty again.

Where do I look. Don't look at it again. OH NO. I looked.

You know, a little letter from J.K. Rowling's attourneys could stop this from ever happening again.

Wait a minute! I've got it! It's beautiful in its perfect imperfection, like in a wabi-sabi way.

Kids, you did a good job. Great job. Now stop that, don't do it again, and tell a trusted adult what just happened to you, and make sure you mention that the song "Beat It" was used.

There. No guilt, no more. Ohmm. Good monster, goo-o-o-o-d.

That was a close meltdown. Maybe it was the Starbucks Pumpkin Spice non-fat Latte combined with the crap music. Oh, come on. A Michael Jackson tune with dancing kids? No wonder I had an allergic-to-nuts reaction.

Damn, by the way, what a cool site Jay to the Kay Miss Money has...very nice!

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

There's got to be something I can say about this scary skeleton
found on sale at

Yes. I'm tired. But any Mary-Kate/Nicole Richie/Paris Hilton/Mischa Barton/Hillary Duff/Lindsay Lohan jokes would just be too obvious.

Get rid of your enemies in style the Martha Stewart way and use their empty carcasses as festive Halloween decorations for your doorstep.

"First, let's start with a freshly killed victim. Any victim will do -- say, an over-priviledged neighbor who miscalculated one step at that last soiree and had the grave misfortune of treading across a newly mulched pumpkin patch. Yes. Mistakes can happen. Once. So. What to do with the bodies...boil them in a big stainless steel stockpot or vat for several days. I like to buy my giant vats at the local co-op or any farming supply store...

"After a few hours, you'll see that the legs will remove quite easily. Pull all the meat from the bones carefully. Be sure to keep the chunks small enough to grind easily in your lovely KitchenAide mixer with meat grinder attachment. I love my KitchenAide. Every upper-class woman in the world should have at least one, if not two -- one being for display purposes only...

"It's a little known fact that most bones aren't that pristine white we're all so used to seeing around this time of the year with all the scary skeletons. To brighten up your scary skeleton, soak your freshly-picked bones in bleach for several days, turning them occasionally to make sure every little digit is bright white. I like to bleach my victim's bones until they are just the perfect shade of eggshell, so they really bring out the greens and oranges of my lovely this poor near-perfect little dear right over here that I grew from hand-polished heirloom pumpkin seeds...and then...(split-second, low growling, high-pitched possessed, backwards-speak grumbling outburst) MILES (chimpanzee in Tanzania screams in background) decided to have one too many of my special Citrus Pucker Cocktails at my exclusive semi-annual Pre-Before-Almost Halloween soirees, and tripped through my darling pumpkin patch. My patch is very special to me because it's fertilized with the remains of my many precious housepets and back-talking housemaids throughout the years..."

I could go on for days like this, can you tell? Too easy. Oh well.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Friday, October 14, 2005

my backpacks got jets - i'm boba the fett

Lyrics and download here. thank you, mc chris

happyyyyyyyy friiiiiiidayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

Wednesday, October 12, 2005




Good lawd. There are many mui mucho neato things here. I want to spread this moondog love. I think I'll email him.

Also, if you smell burning wires and a hint of bacon, it's just me and my burnout. Mmm. Burnouuut.

employee5: "you know what today isss..."

me: "it's garbage day."

employee5: "No. IT'S HUMPDAY!!"

We're both right. So like, Happy GarbageHumpDay.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Monday, October 10, 2005

just in time for the impending holidays +
get a discount when you click the bottom right web ad found at

look at this way: you never know what film you'll receive next. but guaranteed, it'll be a j.lo-free one.

Friday, October 07, 2005

{listening to}

1. Bluebird Is Dead / Todd Rundgren / Tribute to the Music of Jeff Lynne

2. Living in the Plastic Age / The Buggles / The Age of Plastic

3. This Must Be the Place (Naive Melody) / Talking Heads / Speaking in Tongues

4. Messages / Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark / The OMD Singles

5. Setting Your Head On Fire / +/- (PlusMinus) / (hmm...not sure)

6. Save it for Later / Beat / Special Beat Service

7. Bunker / 100 Flowers / 100 Years of Pulchritude

8. I Should Have Known Better / Wire / 154

9. One More Time / Clash / Sandinista!

10. One Hundred Years / The Cure / Pornography

11. Call Me Up / Gang Of Four / Gill/King

12. By Chance / Go-Betweens / Before Hollywood

13. Obstacle 1 / Interpol / Matador at Fifteen

{you should be listening, too. }

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Just two neato sites is all. found around

No, I can't help it. I freakin' love party pics and wings. Not so sure of the Paul McCartney "Wings" but out of respect, ok, yes I like those "Wings", too. Anyway, on asiaargento, click the flashing "MENU" and then "images". It's just so intensely hard being this beautiful,


do not get me started.

enjoy~oooprettyprettyprettyenjoycoolcoolcoolenjoy prettyprettyprettyenjoycoolcoolcoolnoreally~enjoy

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

I wonder how New Orleans is,

but I'm not kicking that rock over to find out. Not accepting fresh wounds.

I dug around and found a poemish thing I wrote on my pda on a train trip home on December 16th, 2004.

You know you care. C'mon. Don't be like that. Read my sad pda rambling...geesh... it's not brussel sprouts. Brussel sprouts are good for you, by the way, remember that.


train 59 to new orleans

i can ignore someone for 4.22 hours one way and 4.16 hours back again. and someone can ignore me the same amount of time.

i am the dumb one who sits on the train not in the seat number
but in the train number itself.
i am not the only one trying to sit in seat 59:
out of an entire empty car, a kid sits right next to me
all he has is a skateboard, backpack and CDs.

we all stood in the rain to board
instead of standing under the canopy
conductor asked why we were standing in rain 'like ducks'
i said 'we're standing in the rain like idiots'

you are sitting next to me on the train
you brought things to insulate yourself from me
i forgot to do that. i will forget next time, too.

i am in someone elses fugitive montage
i am the late one in the rain
you are sitting by me ignoring me

we have a lot in common.

i think i am that tree growing too close to the tracks,
stripped down and cleared now and then
i never grow back quite the same.

i didn't hear the question but I heard God answer:
'the foist thing you got to realize is that you lost. then, you go from there.'

God is a black man on a train to new orleans
sitting directly behind me in an empty car
with only us three.
i am the one feigning sleep
i am the one thinking about derailment
i am the one who carries a germ from them to you

and the world outside blurs by
pink and yellow ransacked skeletons with rusty tin rooves as a hat

i can tell i'm almost home.

someone's meadow lark lemon basketball is floating alone in a greened over drainage ditch.
people live here, i forget that.

'attention all passengers. someone has lost a ring in the restroom. they laid it down beside the washbasin. it has no monetary value, only intrinsic or sentimental value. '
does anyone stop to think that if you find a ring on a train, someone knows you have it.

the signs outside say 'holy city': black guy with his baseball cap backwards is riding a horse down the frontage road between us and a trailer park. people fascinate me.

nearly h@me.

when two trains pass each other going different directions,
its hard to tell which one is moving faster
or if one has stopped moving at all.



See, that wasn't so bad. I don't totally suck at this. Softball, I suck at. This rambling thing is second nature, maybe even third. You care.

Monday, October 03, 2005

damn, this boy makes my day

always, every time.

found in at havesomehats in Misc. Artwork, collaboration, then whispered apologies comic

and don't forget to buy his art before hollywood ruins it.

"You tell them, Jonesy! You go tell them all!" ~ k. parker c. 2003