"Subject : MassiveDickAction"


Oh, stop. I'm sure it's not what you're thinking.
Right?
Obviously, it's a movie announcement.
Inviting us all to see the latest film.
Starring an unfortunately-named action hero.
Right?
Right.
Innocent.
Okay.


It does make me remember, for some strange reason,
a few good new adult entertainer names
that came to me at the beach:

Taffy Puller
Candy Floss
Cara Mellow
Sweet Vanilla Swirl
Thickie Fries
and
Caramel Tubs
(the last two are either rappers or
"acquired taste"-types of performers)


Must all just be coincidence I thought of them.
I better go check the movie times,
I don't want to miss this action-packed piece of pork.
Work.
Piece of...
anyway...

Also note, Good News, Citizens!
I did not see one t-shirt proudly boasting:
"I went to Ocean City Beach, and all I got was crabs."

I did see one "Git 'er Dun" t-shirt design,
but it was small, unwanted, without a rebel flag background,
and delightfully on sale.

And,
I didn't see one knock-off Calvin or Hobbes sticker
peeing on anything.

(If you don't get any of the above,
take a moment now to thank the almighty powers that be.)

It made it really hard to leave is all I know.

xo and much love - Candy Beans