Wednesday, January 21, 2004

I love my mother.

I like the way she writes.

"I am getting sooooooooo much better checking my mail. Don't I know how those weekends fly!!!!! Been there-done that and I am still doing it. Sounds 'citing about Jackies ( I know this is spelled wrong --but it is the bestest I can do at the moment) wedding.

"I am working this week and it is very interesting over at the CI (Cancer Institute). Actually-I am liking it there. I have a great place to park and I can leave the house later since I don't have to ride with yo Daddy.

"We went to see Cold Mountain this past Monday on the King's birthday. I have just about all I need of Nicole Kiddman. The movie was fine but as they say--the book was better.

"I have really gotten into drinking really quality Japanese and Chinese tea and I have ordered some really good stuff over the Internet. I ordered you some too. It is called Rose Bouquet White Tea and it has good stuff in it like Lavender and such. I also ordered some Natural Fiber Tea filters for brewing loose tea in mugs and cups. I ordered you some of those too. How bout that? I will be sending it to you....

"Love you much---Mama"

It's the subtleties. ( That looks like it's spelled wrong --but it is the bestest I can do at the moment.)

Who else is kickass?

KittySpunk and DougieSpunk: For the sublime Bacon and Cheese scones, mimosas and far-out gourmet egg-in-hambowls. I'm not kidding, I have just made myself hungry again thinking about it. I will have to try making those scones, but as I said, I really think that bread dough can smell my fear. But I vow to sneak up on the blobby monster even though I predict to make a dandy set of rocks, doorstops or paperweights. But on the bright side, if I make them flat enough, I could make that nifty backsplash for the kitchen sink I've been wanting. I will let you know how it goes. And thank you so much again for the wonderful time! Simpsons' Trivia Night is next.

And Jacquie (suppersexygirl on left) is rather kickass, too.

Here's a prayer she just forwarded me:

> >
> > May the fleas of a thousand camels
> > infest the crotch of the person who screws up
> > your day and may their arms be too short to scratch...
> > AMEN

She must be in a good mood, you see. Because me? I'd add in stacking tires and setting fires, but that's the smack part of me talkin.'

(If you are a guy, you are advised to skip over this next part. Hey, I'm a girl, I'm entitled to get giddy from time to time.)

And check out this bridesmaid dress because ohhellyeah, she asked me to be one. A bridesmaid, not a dress. It's not exactly this color, it's Soft Rose (awwwwww). So BIG FAT HUGS TO JACQUIE FROM ME because she's a keeper. And no really, I'm serious, her wedding will be fun, definitely not typical, and if you want to listen to me make fun of myself before during and after, stay tuned. If not, well, I'll try to contain myself.

News Flash: Crazy people are eating brainsbrainsbrains!! Nasty Grody Sandwich for Brains people are eating them, on buns, and on purpose. Go ahead. Thin the human herd. Sure, I bet I have eaten cow tootyholes in a big fat ballpark hotdog. But that was accidental. I can't eat a brainburger with cheese on purpose.

Oops. Looks like I have to take some of that back. Maybe there are worse things after all. Visit the Magic Cone*. Mad Cow is wrong and bad but it could come in handy. Thinning our own herd may not be such a bad idea if you have too much time and other stuff on your hands. Uhm... Enjoy?

*Oh yes, And "Don't throw it into the toilet." Why that would just be silly.

And finally...

M&M's has come up with a most cruel contest for someone who just ordered a bridesmaid dress not made of Spandex. How untimely and calorically unfortunate for me. Like I needed any more prompting like a chance to win a brand new convertible VW Beetle to make me drool for more M&Ms. Actually, this is brilliant. Yes, it's all clear now: I now have a very real and legally binding excuse to buy even more Almond M&Ms. Man, life is so @#$%ing good!!*

*SCENE CUTS TO ME, pleased with life and happily chewing on a bag of MMs, unaware as my inoperable tumor somewhere just grew three sizes larger. Why do I jinx myself like this?

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