BANJO PLAYER
The Tunica Queen Riverboat is seeking a dynamic strolling musician to play traditional river tunes on our new sightseeing cruise boat. The successful musician will perform three of our four daily cruises. 344 Casino Way, Robinsonville, MS, 38664, phone: 662-363-7622, fax 662-363-7623


I'm just sayin'...


Michael says: "I had a chance to learn the banjo when I was in high school. Obviously I made the wrong choice when I decided to go to art class instead. Missed opportunities."

You are so right, Michael. Regrets are harder to swallow than this gravy soda you sent me. Yes, if only I was 5 foot 2 with eyes of blue with the metabolism of a praying mantis, I could've been a princess. But no, I had to get a job and work like the average suckatrator... dollar dollar bill yall. Which reminds me: Where's my Ashton Kutcher product? Here. I'll get you started.






Good news, Michael.

Merle Haggard is selling his houseboat. Why would I make that up? Plus, he's feeling good about this concert tonight because he just got a new set of teeth Wednesday. Why would I make that up?

Think about it. His houseboat has a "big restroom with shower & real toilet". If that real toilet could talk, I bet it would scream and scream and scream.