In response to saying that I probably wouldn't be seeing Cold Mountain because one, it may have been a good book, but I bet it got real chicky flicky with Nicole, and she just gets all over my last nerve sometimes; and two, I bet I couldn't load Ron into a cannon and shoot him into a movie like that. Which is one reason I love 'im. So mum says:
"Actually --Cold Mountain is not a chick flick. It was gory enough and enough killing in it to make several of the maintenance men at the VA* see it a couple of times. I have to be honest and say I even liked Nicole in it even though she dominated (shall we say) a great deal of the movie. Needless to say, Judd Law was a hunka-hunka** burning love. He's purty."
*Veteran's Adminstration. It's where my dad has worked for like 40 years now. Impressive fortitude, I say. Doing anything for 40 years is impressive to me. Pretty much everything he does impresses me.
**She also agrees that Johnny Depp is quite the looker as well.
Happy Chinese New Year, by the way. I wish I knew more about it really. It's the year of the monkey. I know that. Much better than the year of the rat. Excluding US Presidential Elections this year. Ha cha cha cha. Someone stop me. No, really. But I promise not to start talking politics. I don't even like them. I know more about how to replace various car engine parts than I do about politics. They all seemed like a good idea, a long time ago, and on paper. Speaking of corporates and hippies...
Product Review, Product Review! Ben & Jerry's Uncanny Cashew
A real no-brainer. This is sofa king good. If you like slightly-sweeter-than-usual vanilla ice cream combined with salty, toffeed-or-caramelled cashews, then put on your stretchy pants and enjoy. Just cram some corn chips and chili in it and I think we could call it a formal binge. Get some today. Also...
Actually, I have no idea what this tastes like, but you know I have to have it. It's Rose Petal Tea from the Republic of Teas.
The Spring Cherry tea a very smooth and tasty way to actually enjoy an affordable green tea. And even though it contains floral elements like peony and paklum flowers, it's in no way similar to one of those disappointing perfumey disasters you fall for simply because the packaging was cool looking. Buying neato looking teas that end up tasting like a tiny bunch of bitter twigs steeped in Birkenstock drippings makes me feel more than just spiritually ripped off. You know what I mean.
Also, the white teas at the Republic of Teas are the only ones I've tried but very good. Just don't leave the tea bag in longer than a minute, or you'll get that same type of Birkenstock bite.
I feel bad. I guess I need to talk about guns or ammo or boobs now for some of the guys out there reading this. Odds are, they never made it this far. That tea talk was sorta girlie. Even though I know Michael liked the tea review. And the bridesmaid dress unveiling yesterday.
But hey, I'm not made of wood here. So I like pink and red and tea and cookies and I actually get genuinely excited like a Pavlovian dog about Valentines and its overpriced flowers and great big fat sparkly rings (rose gold, white gold or platinum, your choice) and puppy breath and soft white puffy kittens.
I don't understand why more people haven't chosen to exploit this holiday to its fullest. We should get a day off to stay home a drink pink champagne and eat dark chocolates and take bubble baths and naps. Valentine's one of our best totally manfactured non-religious holidays specifically designated for candy and more candy.
So when I run for President, get behind the movement and I will propose that Congress pass a law making Valentine's a real, true, PTO holiday, damn them. We have a perfectly good V-Day somewhere in the books that we don't celebrate now. Shake it off. Let's go. Who wants chocolate cheesecake as the national cake?
"We have no national cake", you say. Exactly!
Oh wait... I'm not running for President. Ron is. Well, he will start his campaign right after our abysmmmmmalll election. I'll let you know about his many platforms. Not that I understand what a platform is probably,* but I'll take good notes.
Which reminds me that I need to get my oil changed tomorrow.
*Ohh, I'm not that undereducated. Ok, so one of his platforms is "Prettier Money, and No More Bills, Just Coins" because face it, American money is kinda boring visually, and I never understood why a dime was worth more than a nickel since the nickel was bigger than a dime.**
**Don't ask. Just throw me something sparkly.
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