Why does the neighbor's cat glow-in-the-dark?
See how close nuclear waste comes to your neighborhood. Enlightening.

And right now, I'm dreaming about more sleep. But if that recurring dream of dark, mossy caves and fighter jets is haunting you, then have your dream translated here. Ignore the photo of the disturbing child clutching her face.

For example, I dreamed that a white poodle in a red dress played a piano and smelled of mothballs. And possibly turnip greens.

Translation: Words like white: People feel they can rely on you. You have an abundance of energy and vitality. Words like red: This is an indication of great passion and sensitivity in your emotional relationships. Words like greens: Growth and serenity. There are projects which you are enthusiastic about. Great pleasures from simple things.

(Alright, so it's not brilliant. But it's free and an inch more fun than working. Which is where I'm off to right now. Yes, like A Bona Fide Sucka-trator.)


And lastly, you too can sound like a drunken Dr. Suess book.
All you need is some malt ripple, this handy shizzlolator, and maybe this churchy teen lingo-izer.

Mmmm... phat cheddar.