TGIF

Yes, thank God that it is Friday indeed. But what I really meant was Fall. The stinky yet endearing veil of riverfunk that one gets used to around here in August, that terrarium-effect of humidity hanging over the Mississippi River, with that bruised, slightly brownish-green tint we all know and try not to think about is gone today. And the sky is blue. Blue, I tell you. Hallelujah.

Yes, there is a reason people in the South just seem to perform slower than the rest of the nation. A reason for gang-related violent crimes, such as murders and shootings. We call it Summer.

Goodbye, Summer. And take your West Nile mosquitos with you.


Oooooo yeah, I need to tell you about the Evil Abdominatrix.

I'll get back to that one after a word from our sponsor. Pancreas.

"Pancreas! It's what makes dogfood brown!"

And I think I collapsed mine at my new gym. Ok, I'll be back in a mo'...


Well, so much for a mo'...



I had to work. But let me show you the best product website found today for actually some of the tastiest infused water and herbal-combo drinkies I've found: Glaceau Smart Water and Vitamin Water. With the best sell-copy on the side of each bottle. I don't rave about bottled water. Most times, I just resent it because it's bland. And I hate it when product sell-copy tries to get too cute. This doesn't. Plus, the stuff is actually really good.

Oh man, I gotta go worship at the altar of The Evil Abdominatrix now... the world's worst and most horrible spine-splitting, gutt-wrenching abs machine. I like to watch people get on it and crunch up as hard as they can and watch the look on their faces as they stop and check for bloodstains. It is awful. It's what I'd imagine a turtle would feel like, forced to scrunch up into a ball in fear of the car bearing down on him, and then it runs him over. Is that why they're called "crunches"?

Ow.