Who is really off today?

Four days and still counting. Apparently, the key to not getting sacked is to never show up for work again... Fascinating.

It's these introspective, reflective moments that make me wish I could be off-kilter myself. Fully. Because look how it seems to work out for the nutters. Unfortunately, I think I may just be half-off. Sane enough to know I'm not insane. Sane enough to be held responsible. What a pain. And what does sanity get me? Well, let's see...who is off enjoying the beautiful early autumn weather today? Probably frolicking at the Fair, with a pork-butt-on-a-stick in one hand and a Deep Fried Twinkie in the other. Is it me? No, I'm sitting here just half-off with a cramp in my neck. While the fully off-kilter woman is worrying about getting too much sun, with obviously nothing to lose. Again, I find this unevenly keeled aspect fascinating.


The Fair. I am going to the Fair on Friday.

I am clearing off my digital camera card right now to ensure I have enough room for this year's fashion parade of oddities at the Fair. This year, I'm not going to focus solely on capturing the perfect Fair Mullet or Mullet-on-a-stick or Midway Mullet hairdo as we say because quite frankly, I'm tired of all this talk about Mullets lately. They are now officially over-exposed. I'm not sure what I will find this year. But I'm looking to catch more than just falling change this year.



Meet my friends.



They keep me company in reeeeaaaally long boring meetings. You know, the ones that should only be seven minutes long, but instead they last for at least one hour and include at least one *golf buddy* story. Well. The first one here is the Earless Dog. What's his name? It doesn't matter. He won't come if you called him anyway because he can't hear. Maybe this Earless Dog is wishful thinking on my own personal situation, as I listen to someone rattle on about Antique Tractor Shows.

The second one is the Ever-Elusive Fingerman. He doesn't ever point at me, he just stares at me with that, that look. As if to say "My God, you have feet and toes. Why don't you run?" And then I remind him about the mortgage payment. He's cool with that lame excuse. At least until the next boring meeting.

And finally we have what appears to be either Fingerman's Jewish cousin named Lemmy, or it's a kosher hotdog with a tiny, armless suit on. I'm not sure. But he seems like a nice guy. You can tell he's related to Fingerman. He's got that, that look as well.

It's not his fault, it's mine. I need full-time excitement in a part-time job where you don't have really boring meetings. Like a pizza place.... Oh yes. A pizza place, mmm.