Monkey Scribblin' and Hamster Hagglin'

The Fair and Rodeo are coming to town here next week, and so I'm actually kinda busy in the process of that.

I could talk about my lifelong love for the Fair all day if I didn't have to work much akin to a common sucka.

Not rodeos, though. While I am willing to admit that I will visit the Millington GoatFest this weekend, I'm just not into the rodeo stuff – what with the assorted bull wranglin', calf scramblin', and pig jigglin' that I've never even heard of until I moved here, and I'm from the South. But I will do my part by eating deep fried chicken on-a-stick while petting a sheep or two. Ah, Fair food and live animal exhibits.

And the rides, don't forget the rides. I love the rides. The scariest part of a Fair ride is the probability that it was assembled hastily by someone who may have just finished off a 6-pack of Bud for breakfast. But probably the scariest thing at the Fair, besides the increased frequency of mullet sightings, is this year's offering known as Deep Fried Twinkie and the Glow-in-the-Dark Popsicles. Uh huh, they do so have them. Would I make that up?

Anyway, while I'm trying to figure out exactly how one jiggles a pig, tangles a turtle or garrots a goat, here's today's Cracker Jack Toy Surprise offerings for you. Enjoy!

(1) Travel to Japan on this acid trip. It's Cannibal Hello Kitty and she's making cat wontons. (Mmm... Good kitty.)


(2) Do tarot card readings freak you out? Because I just asked the Magic 8-Ball if they did and it said "As I See It, Yes". Oh, don't worry. It won't bite you, but beware – you may end up worshipping all the design work that went into this website.


(3) Here is something I have always wanted to be – a girl who could wear her butt as a hat . No, really. Yes, the images here are oddly fascinating, but not as creepy as the message board request for "mOrE PiCtUrEs of Feet." Gross.