Look, Ma.

I drew America, after the forthcoming invasion and reorganization by the Martians Who Think in Square Shapes. Sorry, Maine and all those other states, oh and the Eastern Seaboard. Well, you give it a try. You can even enter Arniie's Etch-a-Sketch contest if you are so much better than me... so bring it! Yes, I'm talkin' to you, West Virginia. You sassy fras corn-pone you.








Thanks, Ma.

Some of them I'm aware of, completely. And some surface from the depths. There's a lot of things I've inherited from my mother. And apparently one of them is laughing at people taking very nasty spills. She had the black-and-white version of Jerry Lewis. I had the full-color version. Not a pretty sight. So I've remained unaware of my genetic stowaway, all these years.

Until now, and it is called the Most Extreme Elimination Challenge on Spike TV. I saw it for the first time the other night, and I cried so hard that I had to wear glasses the next day.

It's one of those really, really physical Japanese game shows that's been dubbed over and re-editted with two guys commenting throughout. Already I'm making it sound extremely flat, but even if you're not into nasty spills, the commentary and the delivery will make it up to you.

Tonight's line up includes four or five episodes beginning at 9pm ET/PT. I'll be parked on the couch. With my glasses. And when Captain Tenneal gives the signal,"Git it awn", that's when I will crumple over and never return.


11:00pm ET episode"Donors and Addicts"

It's the Organ Donors and Recipients vs. the Addicts as our hosts, Vic Romano and Kenny Blankenship, discuss Vic's prior battles with alcoholism. Captain Tenneal has fun with the Donors and shows the addicts some "tough love." Games included: MUD BUTTLERS, THE DASH TO DEATH, ROTATING SURFBOARD OF DEATH, BRASS BALLS, and POLE RIDERS.

Doesn't sound funny. But trust me. Feed the stowaway.