I woke up this morning with the strange feeling of "just visiting".

Let this picture be a lesson to all you crazy lil second-grade girls out there: You can only pull up your shirt so many times before you have to kiss an aging pop icon on the mouth. And you're not the first one who's been there, so wash up before and after.

So Britney Spears and Madonna kiss on-stage. So much for true creativity. Damn. But tune in next week as Justin Timberlake and Joe Millionaire call a press conference to fluff each other on the site of what used to be the World Trade Center. Pre-order this pay-per-view event now.

Don't get me wrong. I don't want the world to be one, big 1950s sock-hop. I'm just starving for originality.

God?... Check, please.