Abducted by aliens.

One day. If I'm lucky. Where the hell have I been since last Thursday. Oh yeah, in-laws in town (it was fun, scored huge at one estate sale), and been working on working with other people. Met the greatest chick in town last night who's started her own creative partnership business named... nah, more later on that one. Knocky, knocky, no jinxes, no jinxes.

So let's talk about how every living thing has gone crazy the past couple of days. The dog lost his rabbit ass mind and got on the couch twice this morning. That sounds like nothing, but it's the equivalent of flightless birds laying eggs during an eclipse. Ron had a dream that he had it out with his boss, and it is long overdue. I can feel the tremors now.

And you're not supposed to talk about your dreams before breakfast, else they'll come true. So before I had one mouthful, I told Ron about my dream, about how someone at work intervened on me. They said they'd been writing down everything I was saying in meetings. This was quite perplexing, since mostly I just sit, feeling the collagen molecules loosening in my skin, knowing that yes, my face will stick like this eventually, just like a hounddog. Then I feel the marrow in my bones drying out and hardening from lack of intelligent thought, and oxygen. Snapping back into the dream, I asked the faceless co-worker "You're writing down what I say?... Like ... what?" And he said "Like 'shut up' and 'fuck you'." I said, "I said that?.... Out loud?" And he replied, "Yeah." So I said "Oh... okay. So?" And here's where I thought I'd be fired. But he just said "Well, you just need to suck it up and stop doing that."

And then, something caught on fire.

Crazy? Not really. Now the cat. The cat is not just crazy, he's gone Prison Crazy. Last night, he slung some cat oatmeal on the wall some three or four feet across from the litterbox. I can't figure out how he did that, or why. Accidents happen, but damn, cat. The more I looked, the more I found on the wall. It was almost like a crime scene.

And then I realized it's Mars. Yep, Mars is making us all nutty. It's closer to the Earth today than I has been in 60,000 years. How they figured that out is mind-boggling to me. Obviously, it has to do with math. Therefore I don't understand it at all. I will also check the phases of the moon, I think I feel a full one coming on. But it's still interesting. What? You don't think this post was interesting? Well, shut up and fuck you. No, not really. Forgive me, I kid. I kid because I love.