Downtown Memphis and Mud Island Gets Its Ass Blown Off.

I'm not trying to be flippant; it's awful. And I'm from Tornado Alley, Mississippi, so that's saying something.

This morning, the Doppler Radar Dog woke me up with his hot pants in my face. And I'm not talking tight, short britches. I'm talking about how he almost hyperventilates himself with fearful panting, directly in my face, or Ron's. Lunchbox the Cat was awfully quiet. I should have taken that as a sign.

I heard thunder to the west, and since we live "none more west" than the rest of Memphis proper, I knew the rain would hit us first. So I figured, best to take the dog out for his P1 and P2 Morning Activities. I stepped out into our massive backyard of 20 squares of grass when I saw it coming. Thick, black clouds with pink edges.

My dad puts it best when he proclaims, "That'll scare yo' mule." And it did. Honestly

On the houses two streets over, I heard what sounded like BBs by the zillion on sheetmetal. It was hard rain across the rooves and bone dry dirt. The wind wasn't even blowing. The atmosphere sucked the door shut after me, like someone knocked the breath out of Mother Nature.

But in retrospect, Mother Nature was about to kick some ass herself.

http://www.gomemphis.com/

http://www.600wrec.com/listen/

This is bizarre. I drove to work and saw that the winds had ripped a second-story house a new one. I felt sick watching the people run around it and try to secure tarps all over it. Limbs, big limbs were everywhere. And then we saw the riverbank. It's littered, absolutely littered with broken branches and uprooted trees.

Here I am at work, 5 minutes away from home, in my self-contained little world in a 21-story building with electricity and internet, with an 11-story view. Who could ask for better conditions given the circumstances. But cellphones aren't working. BellSouth telephones are running on generators in certain parts of town. Electricity is out in 300K+ businesses and homes (mine being one of them *big sigh*) So many old, beautiful trees combined with the dry soil were toppled, while smaller trees were broken in two. The strangest damage I saw was the railroad guardrails, you know the ones that come down and block traffic while trolleys and trains roll by? The guardrails were folded like twistties around the poles.

As we keep driving downtown, we expected to see the damage line stop. But it didn't. It just kept on going. Popped glass windows and building awnings everywhere. Trees in the parks snapped in half. Supposedly a monument at Tom lee Park is down, too. Think they are talking about the obelisk.

The Gibson Guitar Factory at the far end of Beale Street district looks like Godzilla kicked it in. And so many cool, old neon signs on Beale Street itself were smashed. My favorite was the three dancing forks of Blues City Cafe.

I'm going around to takew more pictures. The sun is out now. Completely eerie. I've been around tornadoes, but this was worse.

Ironically enough, today I was going to write about the guy I met last night as I was watering the grass and the new tree. He was drunk, riding around in his golf cart at 9 o'clock, and stopped by to introduce himself. This is after I heard him speeding by with his radio blasting Led Zeppelin "ohhh let the sun beat down upon my face.... songs caress my earrrr.."' (dun nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nuh nnnnnnnnnnnuhhhhhhhhhh) and I raised my fist, and gave him the redneck salute of WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Hey, I speak the 'neck.

Anyway so he skidded to a stop in front of my house and told me his life story in a matter of minutes. Beer will make you do that. And then, we talked about lawn watering. And he said "Yyyyyyyyyepppp, might as well water that tree ya got thar, even though 'They Say' tomorry, it'll rain.... yeahhhhhh....promisssses, promissssessss! Nite to ya! I'm sure I'll be seeing ya round later awn!"

I'm sure I will see Drunk Paul again, too. And his dog Pooch Pooch. But that's what I like about the south.

I'm off to do an ad real quick, and then go take some pictures.