Friday, April 30, 2004

Today's aphorism*, and another useless tagline from the past.

"ghandi wouldn't have liked andy either."

"O-Cedar makes your life easier."

*Today's aphorism was contributed by our lovely and talented Kittyspunk. Thank you!

Your yoga stretch for the day.

Sit up straight, knees slightly apart. Clasp your hands together, and put them between your knees. Next, push your shoulders up and begin curling your upper body over to stretch out your spine, then squeeze your elbows into your waist, as if you are cold. Keep curling until you can't curl anymore, comfortably. As you enjoy the stretch, you will hear something similar to the breaking of a stick of chalk, a quick grind and snap in your neck. Oh muther @#$%ing ouch, that really hurts. So nevermind then, don't try this at home alone.

Oh Lordy Lord, Lord Lordy McLordmuffin,

Thank you for the Friday we are having. It's cold, it's gray, and it's beautiful. I can see Sunday from here, but for now, it's a beautiful sight. Long week, short weekend. But I'll take it anyway.

For the record, it's all sad and lonely here around the office without Scottshead. He went to Coachella. That dirty, rotten, stinky bass turd.

But that's ok, I have my newfound fascination with Klaus Nomi to keep me busy. I'm fascinated. No, really. We watched "Urgh! A Music War" last night, and poor dead Klaus was ahead of his time. So far in fact that he could probably never really fit in anywhere in the concept of human time. To me, that's fascinating.

But then again, I was that weird kid who bought the broken toys in the store because I felt sorry no one would buy them.

And finally...

Hmm. I'm not exactly sure why the obesity rate is skyrocketing in America these days.

Maybe it's a mindset that doesn't just celebrate something's arrival every 17 years with a parade or just by observing wistfully, instead we figure out how to make tacos out of them.

"The cicadas are comin' the cicadas are comin', grab a fork and some BUTTER!"

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