"Dare To Be Stupid."

So...I got my Weird Al tickets today. Shut up. Can't you see I'm excited? Not because we share a similar hairdo on rainy days, but because I like Weird Al. There. I said it, and I'll say it again. I like Weird Al. And furthermore, I don't care if you're full, just eat it...eat it...get yourself an egg and beat it.

It should be no reflection on regular fans of Al everywhere that I'm just really boring today. I think it's because I sapped my energy taste-testing bridge mixes. We're having an unofficial Bridge Mix-Off comparing local, persistent bridge mixes to find the best tasting bridge mix around. I'm fairly sure these are not Atkins-approved. In fact, that's probably why they are even more attractive these days than ever. "Hi. I'm on the Atkins-approved all-you-can-eat-porkskins diet. Nice to meet you. Shake my hand, I just peed on a stick to test my level of ketosis. When I burp, it sounds like a squealing pig and smells like Animal Farm."

Ah yes, there's the ole mean streak. Not in a sugar-coma just yet.

Back to the bridge mix: The best so far is Brach's*. Fresh, chocolate coating is creamy, with a nice variety of nuts, raisins and unknown jelly bits. It's good enough to serve alone as a sugar-blasting treat, and not something you'd wanna waste on your alcoholic she-relative who's looking for a quick, mid-morning breakfast.

Second in the running so far is Walgreens brand bridge mix. Leave it to the good ole 'greens. Bubble bath, beer and bridge mix, all under one convenient roof. Inexpensive yes, but overflowing with taste-for-the-price. We were very pleased with this discovery since they are close-by and also have the best chocolate covered peanuts this side of DisneyWorld. Don't even ask what that means.

We had high hopes for the bridge mix found at The Peanut Shop down the street, but basically it's just Brach's with Whoppers mixed right in. Nice touch, so they get points for that, but not in the exposed-to-the-open-air-too-long taste category.They should just stick to the nuts, they do them best anyhow. I said "stick to nuts"... snickersnicker. Mmm. Snickers.

I told you I was boring. But hey, be fair, you read this far. Ohhhhhh come here, you know how I like to kid. Aw, I'm sorry...gimme a hug...and some bridge mix...and vodka.


*Good candy, and even better lawyers. Don't sue me for reffing to you. Send bridge mix, send bridge mix, send bridge mix. Can't you see, I'm just a stupid fool in love with your chocolate covered goodness??