Friday, June 22, 2007

Product Review, Product Review!

Better late than never. Well, I've been on-hold for a long time today, several times. And I lose my train of thought while I'm on-hold. So if I try to type and ask questions, it comes out like a scene from "Nell" by the time they get to me.

Right now, I'm on-hold with the termite people...well, not really people who are giant termites...but instead, the termite people who need to replace the termite traps all around my house. Apparently, by extra-sensory perception or Ouija board, I was supposed to know that the traps had been on back-order and wouldn't be in or replaced until next Thursday. This is all news to me two weeks after my first call. All I can say is that I'm glad the woman I talked to the first two calls either quit or is out-of-the-office on a trip to Dollywood. She really needed a break way before the time she got to me.

Anyway, so sure, this product came out last year and it's taken me that long to rave over it. But hey, it happens.

Dove Energy Glow, a gradual, subtle self-tanning lotion that not only works but works quickly and dries without all the goo --believe it when Shera here, Queen of the Underground Mole Kingdom and Its Peoples, with the whitest legs only half-tanned down to the knees and arms tanned to the white t-shirt sleeve has tried them all. Most are either sticky and don't work, or sticky and don't work. The end.

Well, if I had to pick a second-favorite, it'd be Jergen's, but it takes two or so days to work. That is still reasonable, but. When they say *gradual*, you know me, corn-fed and bred consumer I am -- I want *immediate-gradual* results. This Dove Energy Glow is as close to that as it gets.

This is excellent for someone like me who postpones actually getting a tan until the day before she needs one. Plus, avoiding skin cancer and sun-damage without looking like I surfaced from the netherdepths of the sea is a-okay with me, too. This stuff goes on smooth and stays that way. The only time it gets gooey is when it rehydrates while you're soaking in the bathtub. I don't know what to think of that. So I just don't.

Bonus point: the bottle I am using is coming up on a year old now.

So there's another selling point -- shelf-life. All for the sake of research, I apply expired products to my legs and arms for you, the consumer. This might explain why I developed aplastic anemia last year, but considering we have an Level Orange Ozone Alert here today in Memphis, I don't think I can be held completely responsible.

Besides the fact that it smells nice, dries and works quickly, and made my day around the same day and time last year, I also like the direction-copy on the back: "wait several minutes before dressing" to allow the product to dry.

Several. Whoever had to write that, God bless 'em, because I know how they feel when they initially questioned it up to their manager and was told to shut up and write it since no one even reads those things anyway, nulling and voiding anymore creativity for that writer for at least the rest of the week, perhaps a year, or seven.

Several minutes, you say? Ok. What to do while it dries, what to do. Like me, you could let your brain swerve out-of-control. "I don't want to just stand here. I don't want to just look at myself like this for several minutes. What do other people do??" Naked sit-ups? Omelet, anyone? Oh. Maybe I should walk outside to check the mailbox. No, that's just plain silly. I'll just vacuum instead. All the while I'm thinking, "Where do I look?? Where do I loooook??" Everyone else is normal and walking around for several minutes, naked. Is this true?

That's not a complaint, that's just an observation. Otherwise, I give it an overall *glowing* review. Oh no. Did I really type that? Well, it's a good product. Get a free sample for yourself here.

You know how I am about toothpastes. If you don't, it's pronounced "sucker." I figure the OCD compels me to try them all before I get the ole wooden teeth eventually. I take that back about the OCD because apparently, I'm not the only one up for new flavors else they wouldn't make so many. Or, is it demand and supply, or supply and demand...?

Who cares? It's just good, clean fun, right?

So I sent away for the trio of Crest Nature's Expressions.

Yes, they've been out for over a year or so, but hey. I'm not too proud to get a free sample from Walmart, why not?

The first one I tried was Mint + Green Tea. Good sudsing, but upon first taste, my Mind immediately said, "Shampoo. It tastes like shampoo." Then my Ego said, "Hey, how would you know what shampoo tastes like?" and my Brain told my Ego to shut up for once and gave it a noogie. So to be fair, I tried it again that night. Sadly, it still tastes like what I'd imagine vividly to be peppermint shampoo.

Darn. And I was really pulling for that flavor, too. Oh well.

But, the good news -- the Pure Peppermint Fresh is good. Not a stretch for an innovation in toothpaste flavorings, but maybe some toothpaste is just better that way. Simple's good.

I have the Citrus toothpaste sample left. But to me, those minty-citrus flavors begin to taste a lot like Dayquil, so I'm putting that one off for awhile.

I did find a good toothpaste, but since I haven't got time to do it justice now, I'll save that for next week.

Oh, you know you care. At least you know I do...awwww...


sissy said...

Oh,lordy, you need a real job, girl!

me said...

No way! Day jobs are totally overrated ;)