I love my Swiffer Duster.

I've been dusting everything in my path. Even behind things. Especially behind things. Would my time be better spent on laundry or some world peace effort? How about just spending this dusting time working on personal projects, updating the resume, developing meaningful relationships with people and things of that sort? Sure, my webpage sucks compared to the average 9th grader, but I'll be damned if my keyboard isn't cleaner and electrostatically dust-free.

If only I could come up with the Million Dollar Idea. One great invention that put me in the Comfortably Well-Off category. Not that I'm going to list any ideas out here just on the off-chance someone is reading this and decided to take my idea and make it the next Pet Rock. But I will say this: One day, I will make the Makin' Bacon girl look like a drooling idiot.

See the bacon billionairess at http://www.makinbacon.com/welcome.htm .

You know who I'm talking about, right? Not that I probably haven't mentioned her once before and can't remember since The Dementia has begun to set in. But for those who don't know her, she is just a girl who liked bacon, and had one good idea and then built a prototype.

So far, we've got at least two things in common. Now if only I had the idea and the gumption to make a prototype. Good lord, I used the word *gumption* in a sentence. Dusting has made me old.

Well, here's a freebie idea for all you Plagerizers of Ideas. The only good idea I've had lately came to me while a trail of ants threaded up an end table to leftover milk. I didn't even know that ants liked milk, so imagine my disgust and dismay when I tidied up Someone Else's morning cereal bowl sitting on the end table next to the couch. It's not as important Whose Bowl it was as long as I'm not the Guilty Party. Anyway, I pick up the bowl and ants were doing swandives into the milk, backstrokes, cannonballs, you name it. The ones relaxing by the bowl scattered momentarily. But I knew they'd be back.

So how to kill the ants without insect spray... cropdust the end table and the cats are off to the vet. Hmm. My eureka was an adhesive-type lint brush. Not only is it great for squishing, but their tiny, crushed bodies stick to it and make art like Kandinsky. Plus, you can joke about it:

"Hey Ron, know what the last thing that went through this ant's mind was?"

"Yes. His ass."