"M-mm...more water soup, ma, plllleaase?"

Oh, shit. If I can't work in the salt mines anymore,
where shall I work...whatever shall I do...

Invest in sea salt futures? Ok!


+++++


Oooo, whaddya think...iLawsuit?
Aw come on, Apple. It's not like I can wear it around my neck and dance with it!
Unless it comes in PINK!



+++++


Speaking of pink: Cupcakes! In Chicago?
Great! I'm planning on being there in April anyway.

(How 'bout it, Tara...you up for a cupcake pilgrimage with me?)

Oh damn, they even have pupcakes.



+++++


And finally,

you are so right, Jacquie, these lejo puppet shows are...strangely...addictive.





Oh, and I have a random prediction for no reason:

Harpsichords will be making a big comeback sometime soon.
No, really. Mark my words. Look, I don't know why I know this.
But trust the intuition of someone who can keep a sweater
for 13 years until it comes back in style again.
Or,
did it never go out of style to begin with...hmmmm?

You're right. "Who cares."

I misread this as Deliciously Diaper Cupcake.

That'd change just everything, wouldn't it?
I could definitely sell them for a hell of a lot more if so.

ps: No, I'm not throwing an Oscar party or
dressing up cupcakes with M&M's like a gaybait.
I normally don't go to the movies because,
besides such blockbusters as "Big Momma's Big Butt" and so on,
I'm too busy watching unclassic, crappy movies like this -
which, in most states, might make me more of a geek than a gaybait.

ps on that ps: Oh yeah, it was an excruciatingly
bad attempt at a movie. My feet could have done a better job
puppetteering with toe socks and flip-flops -
which, in this case, gives me an idea...

Well, alright.

Explains why I can't find a decent parking space.



+++++

This is what the OK Go "Oh No" CD looks like on the outside.
Nice wrapper. I hated to rip it.
I'd love to tell you all what it's like on the inside,
like on the CD, but for now I can't.
Not until I make myself completely deaf
with this one song, "A Million Ways."

OK Go...
I love you.

Especially, of course, that tall, skinny one
Yeah you, Damian.
Oh no, don't you worry. I'll get in line.

"A Million Ways" Dance by OK Go.
OK Impressive!

Big note to all those headphoned people like me:
Watch out for the first 3 seconds of this clip. Mui, very loud.

"White people are crazy...crazy and nasty..."

- Raineesha Williams, Reno 911


I'm sure I'm just jealous or something.
Xaviera seems fascinating enough.
(I just shouldn't have clicked the "Related Pictures" photo.
Looks like a gross of canned biscuit dough exploded.)
I do like her earrings in her photo, though.
I have a similar fish charm hanging off me purse.



Still, people are insane to pay money to stand around naked.
That's where I must be jealous of this woman:
I must start my own cult.

Speaking of lumps, beer, and webcams...

And finally,


Borat, Gypsy Remover...

plus, "How to Dance Like a White Guy"

And, uno dang good commerciale.
Actually, one of the best I've ever seen.
So buenos noches, and enjoy!

It's been a monkey kind of week so far.

Got obsessed with The Monkees
(it was Valentine's Day that caused that).
Then found some extremely cool space monkey screensavers
from the Gorillaz. Then I got bit on the head
by a wild/annoyed/escaped Resus lab monkey,
and then I died. But I got better.

As always, glad the weekend is spittin' distance away.
And yes, I do disgust even myself saying colloquialisms such as that.


Which reminds me:
I found my old POS camera!

Where?
In the beer box in my car!

Really?
"What's the beer box?" you're asking.
I caught myself asking the same thing, too,
when my brain automatically screamed
"THE BEER BOX"at me.
It's the console in between the driver and passenger seats
where you stow your open beer, just perfect
because it keeps the beer
from tipping over while you're cruisin'
around the Krystal parking lot
in your parent's car every Friday and Saturday night.*

See? I totally forgot that bit about me
growing up in the deep South, too.
And there are numerous reasons for that.

Boy. Having your brain scream things like that at you
is the equivalent of that scene in a zombie movie, y'know,
where the living, clawed hand shoots up
from that freshly turned grave.

In other words, promise me this:
That you will shoot to kill me if I ever worked the phrase
"Git 'Er Dunnn" into any conversation.
Any.



*But I promise you, I wasn't listening to The Eagles,
Chicago, or Journey. It was The Beastie Boys, Madness,
and Adam Ant.

Good question. Find out here.


"How can I stick it to The Man on gas prices?"
Another good question! Read here.

News anchor beamed from the tv this morning:
"Electricity prices are on the rise again,
that story and more, coming up..."
Oh yeah?! Take that, Helmet Hair!


"What can make my laptop and me more popular with the girlies?"
Well, this is an excellent start.
Also, toss in some jewelry or cash. It never hurts.


News Flash: ""VP shoots man in hunt error"
Real News Flash: "VP *accidentally* made billions rebuilding Iraq, too"


Nevermind that: Cupcakes!

Happy "Eat Candy Today, Blame Yourself Tomorrow" Day!

Happy Monday the 13th!

Have a bear.
What for? Why not!

Maybe have a beer with that bear.
And some corn chips and cheese dip.

Great. Now I'm hungry.

Handy Tips for Happy Travelers:

1. Begin packing by creating piles of your necessities
before you pack. This way, you'll see what all you have and
can minimize accordingly before you pack it.

2. Always pack your shampoo and other bottled liquids
in ziplocs or similar plastic bags. Pressurized cabins
can cause your bottles to expand, contract, and leak.

3. Unfortunately, baggage can get lost in-transit.
So always remember to pack your carry-on with a
change of clothes, toothbrush, toothpaste, and
any other essentials you'd need for a day or two.

4. If nail clippers and scissors aren't allowed,
then you certainly can't expect airlines
to let you go through the line with a human head in your bag.
So leave your voodooin' under your bed.