labmonkie (lab' muhng-kee) n., 1. A series of experiments distinguishing living organisms from dead organisms and inanimate matter such as reality show contestants. 2. Your personal guide to Nothing in Particular. Enjoy.
Monday, May 24, 2004
Think I'll go raise worms.
Right now, all I can think about is worms. No, it's not because I just ran into the wormy mail dude who used to read all of our magazines before he passed them along to us, IF he decided to pass them to us AT ALL. No, I guess it's because I am so stinking proud of myself. This weekend, I bit the bullet and dug around in the dirt in my yarden (miniscule yard + mostly flowergarden = yarden). And it actually looks like real, sane adult units live in that house. I am very proud and happy about that for some reason.
(Besides the fact that my dog Otis made me very proud at the vet and is super-cool and everybody loves him, even the vet, who is also super-cool. More later on that...)
Anyone who knows me could see this: It's fairly obvious that I could have a small affinity for worms. In most cases, I don't wanna touch them. But I would think about taking it to the next level of commitment -- by building one of these super-ecologically-ingenious little Worm Ranches and strowing earthworm unspeakables across my newly created yarden. As you can see, I ganked the illustration up there from here. So buy some supplies from them or something. (Free advertising, you guys, and thanks for letting me borrow the pic in retrospect.)
Oh come on, you know you need some worms. The world is a better place when worms are present. The wormy people remind you how not to live your life, and the honest-to-goodness worms churn up the soil and literally make the world a better place for us all. Still not convinced you could use some worms, huh?
Ok. A slightly younger me would've sent a box of steaming hot redworms to any people I had a strong distaste for, say like a mail dude who reads your mail before you do. But you know, I'm not that person anymore. No, really. I've gone all soft like that and I'd feel sorry for the worms. I can feel sorry for a rock, I'm serious. But go ahead and cast the first worm. If anybody has a strong disliking for me, I'd welcome a box of worms. Back then and even now. It's a strange and strong paradox, I admit.
Anyhow, I don't know if you read that first link, but earthworms eat moistened t-shirts. I don't know how you feel about this, but to me, it's liberating. I could raise worms for the absolute rest of my natural life on just t-shirts alone. That's probably not the best thing for them to be eating day in and day out, but I'm just sayin'.
More on Otis Goes to the Vet later. He's such a good boy. Only bad thing he did was pee on the scale. I know how he feels.
By the way, if you are looking for a good movie, rent "American Splendor ".
Also, I'm off to check out this new photoblog option on Blogger. Because I know you can't wait for pictures of me gushing over baby worms and giant dogs.
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