Zsa Zsa Boo Boo

Correction: Plato is to Pluto as Eva is to Zsa Zsa. Those two always confused me like Samantha and Serena from "Bewitched" or Jeannie and her evil, albeit sexier sister. Oh no. I just seriously used the word "albeit". What's next? "Vis-a-vis"? See, I told you my bulb was growing dimmer day by day. And it was only a 40 watt to begin with, awww snthap. Soon, I will be drooling from the corner of my mouth over Friday night Nachos at The Home. But I will be happier, more blissful, and dribbling in viable quantities.

I wonder if I should talk about bowling from last night. I don't have much to say about my stellar performance. It was fun even though I did suck like a Hoover upright on carpet setting. If it weren't for the damn trick knee, the current alignment of the planets and the fact that my poor nicked-up pink ball came back with a greasy sheen on it several times which probably only benefitted me in the end, maybe I wouldn't have resorted to the vodka tonic. But what fun would that have been? Jacquie Wack and I have decided we bowl better when we start with a single rum and Coke to get the balls rolling, and we have decided to design small cheer routines, preferably shaken to the tune of Queen's "Fat Bottomed Girl." Now I have to get on eBay and find some pom-poms. Not the skimpy, metallic 90's ones but the big, shiny 70's ones. Much akin to Wilt Chamberlain's awe-inspiring superfly afro. Or was it Dr. J...?


Better than good, it's fair.

Told you we were working hard on the Fair stuff. Not one mention of their brilliant ad campaign. Must be implied. And see, I didn't make up the pork butt on a stick.





And finally.

I love David Sedaris. The sky opened up, and he's coming here to Memphis. I gotta get tickets. I could just scream like a girl. I bet he could, too.