Yes, Happy Hallerweenie to you.

Any excuse to eat candy and drink sounds like a good holiday to me. I don't like it when the kiddies come knocking at the door begging for candy. I mean, it'd be okay if they weren't 16 years old, bedecked in dirty white t-shirts and baggy pants, holding dirty floral pillowcases out demanding treats while casing my joint for electronics. But maybe that was just my neighborhood last year. This year, I'm not taking chances, I'm leaving town.

And I'll miss the best party ever thrown, hosted by Jacquoleeen Wacq. I hate myself for missing it. But again, we have to go pick up a cargo van in Chattanooga. Just pretend this is interesting.

Here are some neato hellish babydoll pictures I took of the scarybastards Jacquie hung upside down in the trees for decoration. Hope this link works for you. If not, well no big deal. Someone is probably sneaking up behind you right now with a chainsaw anyway.

I'm with Adam. I don't quite understand Halloween either. But as I said before, like Grandma always said, "If you ever want a pagan's money at the collection plate, you have to give them free candy a few times a year. But don't ask me why a bunny hides a chicken's eggs in honor of a resurrection."

And then she stabbed me with that lawn dart again and again. Merry Boo Day.