I'm so happy, I could just dress up like a Macy's elf and write an important piece of hilarious yet poignant satire.

Finally, the day stopped wringing my neck. Forget everything which or that has transpired up til 2:58 pm today in my rolling chair on a stained-carpet kind of world. Now I have something happy in my purse. This is how I feel about the little things that make the world better. Actually maybe today it's selfishly just about the little things that make my world better. Like a blood donor card packed away in a safe place autographed by a sincerely genuine John Flansburg. Or that the guys who cut my weensy front yard are actually named the Lawn Wranglers. And it's just like two pristine tickets to David Sedaris, one of the best writers still alive.

Oops. Jinxed him*. He's a dead man now. I am so sorry. Ah well. Maybe I can eBay them unused.


*Much like I'm jinxing the Cubs.




Oh yeah, I forgot to put in my two-cent blab about Arnold Schwartzenooghen becoming Governor.

What do you expect? People like to watch other people get voted off islands, out of lavish condos, into faux pop-lifestyles, and now into the political system. What ever happened to good ole roller derby instead? Jerry Springer is not a show, it's a country. And no one can find the remote anymore.

In two words: Too easy.