Santa needs to swing by with an upgrade, but

...scanner works well. This is good to know since I'm still staying with my mom in my old hometown to visit a really good doctor. He's the hematologist that kept my dad going with his Chronic Lympocyctic Leukemia for 20+ years. And that is a remarkable considering patients diagnosed with CLL usually get a life expectancy of only 10 years, max. Also, I credit that longevity to my dad's will of iron, steel, and a little duct tape. "Never give up, never say die. And hand me a Bud Light, would ya?"

Anyway, not to get heavy in the slightest, but since some of you know, I'll give updates where I can. That kind of personal stuff embarrasses me, so I'll keep it uncharacteristically brief. But I've developed some idiopathic blood disorder called ITP where my white cells are high enough, but my red blood cell count is down and my platetets are either being killed off by a mutation or just not producing at all. I had a bone marrow done last Tuesday that didn't yield the information the doctor needed.

Can I just say here, children, they corkscrewed a chunk out of my buttbone. And now, I can relate totally to a corkscrew and a cork. So, be kind to your wine next time. Or, buy the screwcapped version.

Good news is, they say it's not lymphoma or leukemia. Maybe it's aplastic anemia. In my overactive mind, I've now successfully internet-diagnosed myself with everything from the monkey pox to radon poisoning to wheat allergies to prostate cancer. That's what not knowing does me. If you think you know what it is, oh please don't tell me. I love a good surprise.

Anyway, my posts are not meant to bum anyone out, because if you know me, then you will hear me laughing at the end of each dose of medicine. Read these posts with a smile at the end, like usual.

Forget all that. Mostly, I will try to post stories about the things my mother and her friends say and do because, quite frankly, these steel magnolias absolutely kill me. These women are hilarious. These women keep other people going with laughter. And butter cookies. And other tasty snacks.

If I disappear for a week, I'll be back. It's hard for me to keep up with anything electronic between the tea, the steroids, and Christmas already?...plus blocks of reruns of "Will & Grace", "Frasier", and "The Golden Girls". You heard right: "The Golden Girls". I know, I know. Someone, shoot me! I never watched it before, at the very least mocked it in the 80's,but right now, there is something really comforting about it.

I promise, the above will be the most embarrassing confession I will reveal to you, ever.

I hardly ever watched tv before. But now, it's there. Interesting experiment. Now, I watch Montel Williams but only for Sylvia Browne, and also watch some other interesting chick named Lisa Williams, I think. Fascinating psychic woman with the craziest hair ever.

Ok, one of the most embarrassing confession I will reveal to you, besides that "Golden Girl" one...

I also watch a crafting show with some midwestern woman named Carol. Oh yeah. I said it. And I totally enjoy it. For 14 years, I worked in an industry-full of people who'd make fun of that show over a *working lunch* of a tiny cup of over-priced lentil soup with a crustina to choke on, but it's made me use my hands again. Made lots of things with beads, ribbons, charms, and antique buttons. Which is exactly why I needed to get some distance from that industry-full of people who'd make fun of that show over a *working lunch* of a tiny cup of over-priced lentil soup with a crustina to choke on. Isn't life funny? Or is that irony? I'll go look it up after I buy a packet of irridescent glitter.

Can hear me laughing and smiling? I know you can relate, too. Gotta go get more beads now! xox ~ bny