Thursday, November 30, 2006

What am I doing?
I'm trying not to eat all the French Vanilla Cool Whip.
I know, I know.
Nothing special about Cool Whip, right?
Trust me, it's never meant anything to me before
either. Kind of a superficial topping for desserts
that probably don't need toppings to begin with,
but in this case?
Fine, leave it all for me then,
being that French Vanilla is a seasonal flavor.
I don't even like Cool Whip,
but this...this tastes like coconut cake.
They don't need to make tv commercials for this.
They just need to walk door-to-door and
make people try a spoonful, just one spoonful.
Besides the Frito's Scoops in the house, too,
along with Jalapeno Cheddar Doritos
(thanks a lot, Ron),
I don't know how I am managing
to leave any of this for any one else.
I think it's the proximity
of the three to each other.
It's creating a confusion shield
with just enough interference
so I can't choose between any of them
and can't hear anything
but static when they call to me at night.
Lucky, lucky me for that.
Crikey. It's Christmas already!
Now what am I doing?
Crashing through the holly tree
in the front yard as I try
to string the lights around it.
Considering I have thrombocytopenia these days,
this is probably not
the smartest thing I've done lately,
but it could be one of the bravest.
I'm thinking of wrapping myself in tin foil
like a baked potato, not only for protection
but also because the neighbors have come to expect
this sort of thing from me.
Wish me luck and send me platelet transfusions.
On second thought,
just send me French Vanilla Cool Whip instead.
And bring some chili cheese dip from my Fritos.
And some rare brisket for the anemia.
What the hell, it's a party!


Anonymous said...

Seeing as you are the Queen of 'goodie' reviews, I will try this stuff. Hope the thrombo-thingy heals soon.


Anonymous said...

hmmm, not sure Cool Whip mails well, or platelet transfusions either for that matter but I would if I could.