Wednesday, April 26, 2006

" A laboratory staff member uses a computer program
to assign scores to the samples. The computer generated
scores are then reviewed by two additional laboratory
staff members to produce finalized data."

I'm imagining the three went for one of those new
Green Tea Lattes at Starbucks.

Which, if no one minds me saying, is good at the first sip.
But then every sip after that tastes like corn.
Straight up maize, direct from the earth to your lips.

Try one today, and follow your friends around with it,
insisting after every sip, "Dude. This tastes like CORN.
I'm serious, try it. I can't drink any more."

And then, someone will offer you a taste of
their Blackberry Green Tea Frappuccino,
and you'll comment on how it tastes like
"something from IHOP,
something on the pancakes."
And they'll laugh at youbecause you're an idiot
who talks with its hands
when it can't think of simple words,
like "syrup."

Try it.
It's just so much fun.
No, really.

Bored yet?
Me, too.
In that case, try:
life in helsinki


Jesse's Mom said...

I just wanted to let you know that I can't visit a Mexican restaurant now without ordering Sopa Pollo. I'm officially addicted to the chickeny goodness, and it's all your doing. Can we go home yet?

me said...

Isn't it just the greatest? And yes, let's go home now. I think I carelessly left my motivation on the nightstand, how about you?

Jesse's Mom said...

The only thing on my nightstand is an empty beer bottle and a ball of cat fur.
OK, now I don't want to go home.
Can home be a beach instead?

Bubba said...

Yeah, why do folks have to go messing up green tea by putting a bunch of crap in it! (A green tea latte? Yuck!) Green tea should only be served steaming hot in a tiny ceramic cup that burns your fingers when you try to pick it up and with the powdery green tea leaves in the bottom of the cup, which looks like you've got algae in your tea! Then when you try to drink it, you burn your lips 'cause it's so HOT! That's the way to drink green tea! (Oh, and by the way, if you ever go to Japan, they will naturally assume that you don't like green tea because you are a gaijin, so show them that they are wrong and drink down all your green tea, even the "algae" in the bottom of the cup. They'll be impressed!)

me said...

Man. I haven't been gaijin' in forever. Where are my dancing shoes?

You know, I'd love to go to Japan and impress someone by drinking green tea. It'd be a lot easier than eating a baby octopus and a raw quail's egg, which I have done to impress the sushi chef. None of it impressed him more than me order of squid. He said, "Oh NO! I don't know how you eat that. That SO GROSS." I love you, Tommysan!