Friday, October 15, 2004

Things I've Been Thinking About = You Haven't Missed Much Outta Me


http://www.blavod.com/

some type of glow-in-the-dark liqueur I read about in Star Magazine that I can't find online

Britney Spears is still married and looks like a bulldog and is easy to make fun of

East Side Story was a good movie

The Surreal Life 2 starring Eric Estrada, Tammy Faye, two drunk girls -- one with regular boobs and another with giant-sized ones, and Vanilla Ice*

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/tv/aptv_story.asp?category=1401&slug=TV+O

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1013043mackris1.html

http://www2.foxsearchlight.com/huckabees/

http://film.guardian.co.uk/news/story/0,,1320095,00.html

http://www.enquirer.com/editions/2004/02/18/tem_people18badu.html

http://www.adcritic.com/gfx/print/pdf/archerbeck-exhib041014.pdf
(In my exasperatingly small product-of-my-environment type of life, it's always bothered me that there are only two guys to vote for [or against] in an American Presidential election. Although this topic can be hotly debated easily, I'm not trying to start a debate, I promise. I am as useless as an ice tray in hell when it comes to political debates, I'll admit that anyday. Unless you want to debate which is funnier, Yosemite Sam or Bugs Bunny, I am almost totally useless, but for the most part fun to be around...

But it just seems to me like we should treat Presidential elections more like American Idol or Survivor or some other painful reality show. You like how I announce that with such confidence -- as if I watch those two shows in particular? No. But as a warped American overdosed on fake reality, I say we should make them take tests -- of faith, courage and old-fashioned wits -- and see who's got the actual nurtz to eat a wriggling handful of grubs covered with cow's blood. Honestly, sit about 5 to 7 candidates out in a hot car in Alabama in July and see who does what. Seems like it would solve itself and narrow down the odds in the first show at least...

I like this thought...

I also want to know who can sing Disney's "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" the best...

underwater...

Anyway, yes, it's the free country part where you can write in your own candidate. But it's not the same. If I wrote in Ron as a candidate, will the FBI start a file on him? Or maybe I should say, would they start another file on him...

Although if Ron did become President, he would issue better looking banknotes with more colors and watermarks and maybe even use that cool untearable Tyvek stuff. Also, he'd make it a law that if you are attending an athletic event and you are even one minute late, you'd be locked out because getting there late is just rude...

Do I have a point? I like sparkly objects like diamonds and more diamonds. And that's all I know.)


Mystery solved: Patty is coming out in a gay marriage on The Simpsons. I'm always the last to know and the first to care. Patty is the one with the big round afro and Selma is the one with the triangle-shaped frodoo, right? Just checking.




*Since Ron has been out of town (his dad had a heart attack but is much better now), I have been staying up like a vampire watching marathons -- this one just happened to be VH1's Surreal Life 2. You know how I feel about *real* reality shows, but this -- this is actual entertainment to me. Of course, I am fascinated by people who were once big stars and now, just coping with it.


OoooOoooOooOOOOOOoooooo....me want thissss...sparklyyy an' pinnkkk..."hello there, Kitty, would you like to be our new President?"



2 comments:

Paste This said...

Two things:

1. You should be able to just drive the four hours to Franklin and demand some (you know Franklin: 'the town by Nashville that country stars who don't actually want to live in Nashville live in')

2. They already have a file on him. Oh, yes. Why? Because YOU mentioned his name in a blog, and then directed people to his Ebay store, and that means he might be hiding income, and that means he might be a terrorist, and that might bring down our great country as we know it. And you thought the Interweb was anyamou... annonn... you could hide your identity. Haw.

me said...

It's funny because it's true!