Xmas time is here again.


on 12/2/02 9:58 AM, UglyStickxx@aol.com wrote:

Hey there,

I am the new elf. The old one is lost at the Pole.
So update your wants and needs so i can perservere.
Let us not dawdle either in a response.
Time is money and money is great. Wish I had a machine to make some.
On the run. Let me hear.
My best, Melvin







on 12/7/02 8:58 AM, labmonkie@xx.com wrote:

Dear Melvin:

Sorry for the delay in the reply from Bethany. We have her in our custody til our demands have been met.

We are a not-for-profit terrorist group based in Orange Mound (just outside Memphis past the bait shop, yall come) and have abducted her and are now demanding a big, fat ransom. Only thing is that so far no one in her family has replied to our ransom notes. We are beginning to think we aren't going to get any money, as if 20 bucks was a lot to ask for, and are considering selling her into white slavery or reducing our price.

However, if we haven't gotten rid of her by christmas, then we recommend an acceptable gift for her would be either a booklight with an a/c adapter jack but not the a/c adapter (we have a warehouse full of those, pyramid scheme gone bad, long story) or a blow-up, stick-to-the-wall bathtub pillow much like the ones found at Target. We like pink. I mean... she likes pink.

Ok ok, these presents would not be for her but for us instead. We've had a long year as a start-up terrorist group, especially after the WTC thing, and need to take a bubble bath and read.

Any attempt to trace this email will result in a serious altercation.

Yours truly -- The Bill-Qaedas, Ltd.