Happy Monday! No, really!

I could go on for days about "Things, Things and More Things" but why?

I'd rather show you that you, yes you, can have your very own private island. If you're a filthy millionaire like me.

No?

Ok, so you could have a refreshing glass of Canadian milk. Canadian milk is the way to go. American milk is full of steroids. It's true. American milk could probably kill that new strain of humans allergic to peanuts. How'd we manage to become allergic to peanuts? Oh yeah: Overuse of antibiotics. Whoops.

This is cool. Hmm. Don't get me started. I may have shown you that, ah who remembers these things. Oh, I'll never forget about this woman who planted a finger in the Wendy's chili. Oh no. But the capital or Maine? I have no idea.

Must be all the milk and peanuts.

I tell you what'll change your life for the better. Watch "Strangers with Candy".

And Arrested Development.

But whatever you do, don't watch the American version of "The Office". Holy crap. I had to watch an episode of the original last night just to wash the stink off my eyes from watching a mere 10 minutes of the new NBC one. What? Why? How? Who makes these awful decisions? Maybe the people who made this terrible show are allergic to peanuts. Maybe they aren't thinking clearly.

I think I'll just blame it on that overuse of antibiotics. And steroids. And mail-order chickens, full of hormones, I bet.

See, I got nothing to say, but hey, I missed you guys. I did. Swear.

Ok, off to make some quesadillas now.