Tuesday, April 07, 2009

An open letter to the guy in Apartment 42,

Thank you, for at least closing your mini-blinds. I was becoming a little too concerned as to why you hadn't made your bed up with sheets in well over a week. And to be honest, I've been growing more apprehensive by the day that you might decide to lounge about in your unawareness and your allness. But you've drawn closed the blinds now, which is great a success as this is a step in the right direction for you and mainly for me. But let me introduce you to the ancient art of shadow puppetry.

It is an ancient form of storytelling and entertainment using opaque, often articulated figures in front of an illuminated backdrop to create the illusion of moving images. It is popular in various cultures. At present, more than 20 countries are known to have shadow show troupes, and I believe you are unwittingly starring in your own performance in your own country known as Nakedmanland.

What I'm suggesting to you is pants. Or perhaps a table lamp instead of the overhead lamp, which is very, very bright. And you are very, very frightening me. Once again: maybe a can of Slimfast every now and then, and a bit more decorum, and pants will do very, very nicely. It's just a thought.

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