Not dead yet: Only a computer virus.

And doing way too much stuff after work, too. What's that all about.

Basically, a stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid computer virus hijacked my computer at work and the dog ate my homework. No, really. So this is me checking in with absolutely nothing to say. Except boomshanka, I am addicted to computers and I know why they are called "a virus" because I'm not feeling so well myself after all this.

I feel my brain going on a vacation for some reason. It's definitely stunned from the void of electronic stimulation. Maybe it's the full moon. Or the eclipse. Or that I've woken up for the past five days in a row thinking it's Saturday, only to slowly realize it's not. How nice that'll be after tomorrow night. And after Daylight Savings time change.

Lots of things have gone down: Automusik won the Best of Show at the Memphis Indie Festival (yaaayyyyy). I met a guy named Pritchard who is a genuine crackhead and apparently I don't like genuine crackheads since they scare me and bore me at the same time. But it was fun screaming and/or watching people scream at him, especially Ron. I think he needed to scream at someone. Very cleansing. I kind of wish he'd show up right now so I could scream at him more. My voice cracks to remind me that it wasn't just a bad dream. Actually, it was a good time in retrospect.

Let's see...I'll be back soon with something to talk about...I miss you guys AW!!

Damn funny:

http://www.nike.com/usa/nikesphere/

Things I've Been Thinking About = You Haven't Missed Much Outta Me


http://www.blavod.com/

some type of glow-in-the-dark liqueur I read about in Star Magazine that I can't find online

Britney Spears is still married and looks like a bulldog and is easy to make fun of

East Side Story was a good movie

The Surreal Life 2 starring Eric Estrada, Tammy Faye, two drunk girls -- one with regular boobs and another with giant-sized ones, and Vanilla Ice*

http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/tv/aptv_story.asp?category=1401&slug=TV+O

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1013043mackris1.html

http://www2.foxsearchlight.com/huckabees/

http://film.guardian.co.uk/news/story/0,,1320095,00.html

http://www.enquirer.com/editions/2004/02/18/tem_people18badu.html

http://www.adcritic.com/gfx/print/pdf/archerbeck-exhib041014.pdf
(In my exasperatingly small product-of-my-environment type of life, it's always bothered me that there are only two guys to vote for [or against] in an American Presidential election. Although this topic can be hotly debated easily, I'm not trying to start a debate, I promise. I am as useless as an ice tray in hell when it comes to political debates, I'll admit that anyday. Unless you want to debate which is funnier, Yosemite Sam or Bugs Bunny, I am almost totally useless, but for the most part fun to be around...

But it just seems to me like we should treat Presidential elections more like American Idol or Survivor or some other painful reality show. You like how I announce that with such confidence -- as if I watch those two shows in particular? No. But as a warped American overdosed on fake reality, I say we should make them take tests -- of faith, courage and old-fashioned wits -- and see who's got the actual nurtz to eat a wriggling handful of grubs covered with cow's blood. Honestly, sit about 5 to 7 candidates out in a hot car in Alabama in July and see who does what. Seems like it would solve itself and narrow down the odds in the first show at least...

I like this thought...

I also want to know who can sing Disney's "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" the best...

underwater...

Anyway, yes, it's the free country part where you can write in your own candidate. But it's not the same. If I wrote in Ron as a candidate, will the FBI start a file on him? Or maybe I should say, would they start another file on him...

Although if Ron did become President, he would issue better looking banknotes with more colors and watermarks and maybe even use that cool untearable Tyvek stuff. Also, he'd make it a law that if you are attending an athletic event and you are even one minute late, you'd be locked out because getting there late is just rude...

Do I have a point? I like sparkly objects like diamonds and more diamonds. And that's all I know.)


Mystery solved: Patty is coming out in a gay marriage on The Simpsons. I'm always the last to know and the first to care. Patty is the one with the big round afro and Selma is the one with the triangle-shaped frodoo, right? Just checking.




*Since Ron has been out of town (his dad had a heart attack but is much better now), I have been staying up like a vampire watching marathons -- this one just happened to be VH1's Surreal Life 2. You know how I feel about *real* reality shows, but this -- this is actual entertainment to me. Of course, I am fascinated by people who were once big stars and now, just coping with it.


OoooOoooOooOOOOOOoooooo....me want thissss...sparklyyy an' pinnkkk..."hello there, Kitty, would you like to be our new President?"

Yay! Thanks for the good news, Jersh.

Office' politics return for holiday party
David Brent is back, but seriously humbled.

Acclaimed British mockumentary The Office returns with a final two-hour episode that revisits the crew of Slough paper company Wernham Hogg and offers — for once — a happy ending.
"We wanted some closure," says Golden Globe winner Ricky Gervais, who plays the cringe-worthy Brent and wrote and directed the series with Stephen Merchant. "We thought we tortured people enough with the existential bleakness of life."

When we last left The Office after two six-episode seasons, Brent had been fired, Gareth promoted, and Tim ditched by receptionist Lucy. The Office Special , due Oct. 21 on BBC America (9 p.m. ET/PT) and Nov. 16 on DVD, picks up three years later.
"It's the worst of both worlds," Gervais says. Brent's "shot at fame went wrong; he's now infamous, and he's worming his way back into a job he lost" by hanging around with his former employees.

The special revolves around plans for an office Christmas party that reunites the group, for the last time. But NBC plans its own faithful version of the series* starring Steve Carell, due next year, and Gervais is working on new BBC sitcom Extras , playing a struggling bit-part actor.

*Ugh. This will never be as funny as the original. Just give me the production budget instead and I'll throw it up into the air and run under it myself. Now that's entertainment.

On more than one occasion: upon my return from work : a good dog gone bad : a violent death to a value-sized box of Meow Mix*













*The box of Meow Mix was sketched-in from memory by an eyewitness (other than me) to this heinous crime.

New energy beer to try, huh?

"A-B PUTS B-TO-THE-E IN BEER"

"CHICAGO - Anheuser-Busch's answer to the spirit industry's penetration of the beer drinking target consumer will be called B-to-the-E (B with an E superscript), a caffeinated beer flavored with guarana, ginseng and other natural flavors including the aromas of black berry, raspberry and cherry. The new brew, dubbed on packaging as the 'Beer with something extra' will launch in November in undisclosed test markets in sleek 10-ounce cans featuring the Budweiser B. Distribution will expand to about half the country by year-end. BE will be slightly more expensive than Budweiser and Bud Light and traditional advertising aimed at the 21-27 year old coed target will be confined to print and POP. An agency assignment is pending."

Drink a six-pack of these with a big bag of Wow Potato Chips and it's bang-zoom, to the moon, Alice! You know me. I can't wait.