Not dead yet: Only a computer virus.
And doing way too much stuff after work, too. What's that all about.
Basically, a stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid stupid computer virus hijacked my computer at work and the dog ate my homework. No, really. So this is me checking in with absolutely nothing to say. Except boomshanka, I am addicted to computers and I know why they are called "a virus" because I'm not feeling so well myself after all this.
I feel my brain going on a vacation for some reason. It's definitely stunned from the void of electronic stimulation. Maybe it's the full moon. Or the eclipse. Or that I've woken up for the past five days in a row thinking it's Saturday, only to slowly realize it's not. How nice that'll be after tomorrow night. And after Daylight Savings time change.
Lots of things have gone down: Automusik won the Best of Show at the Memphis Indie Festival (yaaayyyyy). I met a guy named Pritchard who is a genuine crackhead and apparently I don't like genuine crackheads since they scare me and bore me at the same time. But it was fun screaming and/or watching people scream at him, especially Ron. I think he needed to scream at someone. Very cleansing. I kind of wish he'd show up right now so I could scream at him more. My voice cracks to remind me that it wasn't just a bad dream. Actually, it was a good time in retrospect.
Let's see...I'll be back soon with something to talk about...I miss you guys AW!!
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Friday, October 15, 2004
Things I've Been Thinking About = You Haven't Missed Much Outta Me
http://www.blavod.com/
some type of glow-in-the-dark liqueur I read about in Star Magazine that I can't find online
Britney Spears is still married and looks like a bulldog and is easy to make fun of
East Side Story was a good movie
The Surreal Life 2 starring Eric Estrada, Tammy Faye, two drunk girls -- one with regular boobs and another with giant-sized ones, and Vanilla Ice*
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/tv/aptv_story.asp?category=1401&slug=TV+O
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1013043mackris1.html
http://www2.foxsearchlight.com/huckabees/
http://film.guardian.co.uk/news/story/0,,1320095,00.html
http://www.enquirer.com/editions/2004/02/18/tem_people18badu.html
http://www.adcritic.com/gfx/print/pdf/archerbeck-exhib041014.pdf
(In my exasperatingly small product-of-my-environment type of life, it's always bothered me that there are only two guys to vote for [or against] in an American Presidential election. Although this topic can be hotly debated easily, I'm not trying to start a debate, I promise. I am as useless as an ice tray in hell when it comes to political debates, I'll admit that anyday. Unless you want to debate which is funnier, Yosemite Sam or Bugs Bunny, I am almost totally useless, but for the most part fun to be around...
But it just seems to me like we should treat Presidential elections more like American Idol or Survivor or some other painful reality show. You like how I announce that with such confidence -- as if I watch those two shows in particular? No. But as a warped American overdosed on fake reality, I say we should make them take tests -- of faith, courage and old-fashioned wits -- and see who's got the actual nurtz to eat a wriggling handful of grubs covered with cow's blood. Honestly, sit about 5 to 7 candidates out in a hot car in Alabama in July and see who does what. Seems like it would solve itself and narrow down the odds in the first show at least...
I like this thought...
I also want to know who can sing Disney's "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" the best...
underwater...
Anyway, yes, it's the free country part where you can write in your own candidate. But it's not the same. If I wrote in Ron as a candidate, will the FBI start a file on him? Or maybe I should say, would they start another file on him...
Although if Ron did become President, he would issue better looking banknotes with more colors and watermarks and maybe even use that cool untearable Tyvek stuff. Also, he'd make it a law that if you are attending an athletic event and you are even one minute late, you'd be locked out because getting there late is just rude...
Do I have a point? I like sparkly objects like diamonds and more diamonds. And that's all I know.)
Mystery solved: Patty is coming out in a gay marriage on The Simpsons. I'm always the last to know and the first to care. Patty is the one with the big round afro and Selma is the one with the triangle-shaped frodoo, right? Just checking.
*Since Ron has been out of town (his dad had a heart attack but is much better now), I have been staying up like a vampire watching marathons -- this one just happened to be VH1's Surreal Life 2. You know how I feel about *real* reality shows, but this -- this is actual entertainment to me. Of course, I am fascinated by people who were once big stars and now, just coping with it.
OoooOoooOooOOOOOOoooooo....me want thissss...sparklyyy an' pinnkkk..."hello there, Kitty, would you like to be our new President?"
http://www.blavod.com/
some type of glow-in-the-dark liqueur I read about in Star Magazine that I can't find online
Britney Spears is still married and looks like a bulldog and is easy to make fun of
East Side Story was a good movie
The Surreal Life 2 starring Eric Estrada, Tammy Faye, two drunk girls -- one with regular boobs and another with giant-sized ones, and Vanilla Ice*
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/tv/aptv_story.asp?category=1401&slug=TV+O
http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/1013043mackris1.html
http://www2.foxsearchlight.com/huckabees/
http://film.guardian.co.uk/news/story/0,,1320095,00.html
http://www.enquirer.com/editions/2004/02/18/tem_people18badu.html
http://www.adcritic.com/gfx/print/pdf/archerbeck-exhib041014.pdf
(In my exasperatingly small product-of-my-environment type of life, it's always bothered me that there are only two guys to vote for [or against] in an American Presidential election. Although this topic can be hotly debated easily, I'm not trying to start a debate, I promise. I am as useless as an ice tray in hell when it comes to political debates, I'll admit that anyday. Unless you want to debate which is funnier, Yosemite Sam or Bugs Bunny, I am almost totally useless, but for the most part fun to be around...
But it just seems to me like we should treat Presidential elections more like American Idol or Survivor or some other painful reality show. You like how I announce that with such confidence -- as if I watch those two shows in particular? No. But as a warped American overdosed on fake reality, I say we should make them take tests -- of faith, courage and old-fashioned wits -- and see who's got the actual nurtz to eat a wriggling handful of grubs covered with cow's blood. Honestly, sit about 5 to 7 candidates out in a hot car in Alabama in July and see who does what. Seems like it would solve itself and narrow down the odds in the first show at least...
I like this thought...
I also want to know who can sing Disney's "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" the best...
underwater...
Anyway, yes, it's the free country part where you can write in your own candidate. But it's not the same. If I wrote in Ron as a candidate, will the FBI start a file on him? Or maybe I should say, would they start another file on him...
Although if Ron did become President, he would issue better looking banknotes with more colors and watermarks and maybe even use that cool untearable Tyvek stuff. Also, he'd make it a law that if you are attending an athletic event and you are even one minute late, you'd be locked out because getting there late is just rude...
Do I have a point? I like sparkly objects like diamonds and more diamonds. And that's all I know.)
Mystery solved: Patty is coming out in a gay marriage on The Simpsons. I'm always the last to know and the first to care. Patty is the one with the big round afro and Selma is the one with the triangle-shaped frodoo, right? Just checking.
*Since Ron has been out of town (his dad had a heart attack but is much better now), I have been staying up like a vampire watching marathons -- this one just happened to be VH1's Surreal Life 2. You know how I feel about *real* reality shows, but this -- this is actual entertainment to me. Of course, I am fascinated by people who were once big stars and now, just coping with it.
OoooOoooOooOOOOOOoooooo....me want thissss...sparklyyy an' pinnkkk..."hello there, Kitty, would you like to be our new President?"
Monday, October 11, 2004
Yay! Thanks for the good news, Jersh.
Office' politics return for holiday party
David Brent is back, but seriously humbled.
Acclaimed British mockumentary The Office returns with a final two-hour episode that revisits the crew of Slough paper company Wernham Hogg and offers — for once — a happy ending.
"We wanted some closure," says Golden Globe winner Ricky Gervais, who plays the cringe-worthy Brent and wrote and directed the series with Stephen Merchant. "We thought we tortured people enough with the existential bleakness of life."
When we last left The Office after two six-episode seasons, Brent had been fired, Gareth promoted, and Tim ditched by receptionist Lucy. The Office Special , due Oct. 21 on BBC America (9 p.m. ET/PT) and Nov. 16 on DVD, picks up three years later.
"It's the worst of both worlds," Gervais says. Brent's "shot at fame went wrong; he's now infamous, and he's worming his way back into a job he lost" by hanging around with his former employees.
The special revolves around plans for an office Christmas party that reunites the group, for the last time. But NBC plans its own faithful version of the series* starring Steve Carell, due next year, and Gervais is working on new BBC sitcom Extras , playing a struggling bit-part actor.
*Ugh. This will never be as funny as the original. Just give me the production budget instead and I'll throw it up into the air and run under it myself. Now that's entertainment.
Office' politics return for holiday party
David Brent is back, but seriously humbled.
Acclaimed British mockumentary The Office returns with a final two-hour episode that revisits the crew of Slough paper company Wernham Hogg and offers — for once — a happy ending.
"We wanted some closure," says Golden Globe winner Ricky Gervais, who plays the cringe-worthy Brent and wrote and directed the series with Stephen Merchant. "We thought we tortured people enough with the existential bleakness of life."
When we last left The Office after two six-episode seasons, Brent had been fired, Gareth promoted, and Tim ditched by receptionist Lucy. The Office Special , due Oct. 21 on BBC America (9 p.m. ET/PT) and Nov. 16 on DVD, picks up three years later.
"It's the worst of both worlds," Gervais says. Brent's "shot at fame went wrong; he's now infamous, and he's worming his way back into a job he lost" by hanging around with his former employees.
The special revolves around plans for an office Christmas party that reunites the group, for the last time. But NBC plans its own faithful version of the series* starring Steve Carell, due next year, and Gervais is working on new BBC sitcom Extras , playing a struggling bit-part actor.
*Ugh. This will never be as funny as the original. Just give me the production budget instead and I'll throw it up into the air and run under it myself. Now that's entertainment.
Thursday, October 07, 2004
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
New energy beer to try, huh?
"A-B PUTS B-TO-THE-E IN BEER"
"CHICAGO - Anheuser-Busch's answer to the spirit industry's penetration of the beer drinking target consumer will be called B-to-the-E (B with an E superscript), a caffeinated beer flavored with guarana, ginseng and other natural flavors including the aromas of black berry, raspberry and cherry. The new brew, dubbed on packaging as the 'Beer with something extra' will launch in November in undisclosed test markets in sleek 10-ounce cans featuring the Budweiser B. Distribution will expand to about half the country by year-end. BE will be slightly more expensive than Budweiser and Bud Light and traditional advertising aimed at the 21-27 year old coed target will be confined to print and POP. An agency assignment is pending."
Drink a six-pack of these with a big bag of Wow Potato Chips and it's bang-zoom, to the moon, Alice! You know me. I can't wait.
"A-B PUTS B-TO-THE-E IN BEER"
"CHICAGO - Anheuser-Busch's answer to the spirit industry's penetration of the beer drinking target consumer will be called B-to-the-E (B with an E superscript), a caffeinated beer flavored with guarana, ginseng and other natural flavors including the aromas of black berry, raspberry and cherry. The new brew, dubbed on packaging as the 'Beer with something extra' will launch in November in undisclosed test markets in sleek 10-ounce cans featuring the Budweiser B. Distribution will expand to about half the country by year-end. BE will be slightly more expensive than Budweiser and Bud Light and traditional advertising aimed at the 21-27 year old coed target will be confined to print and POP. An agency assignment is pending."
Drink a six-pack of these with a big bag of Wow Potato Chips and it's bang-zoom, to the moon, Alice! You know me. I can't wait.
Thursday, September 30, 2004
NKOTB
No hell no, it's not Danny, Donny, Jingle, Thuggy and Bingochip, it's way better and important -- it's New Kids On The Blog (pronounced "blerg").
Please welcome:
cmedesign
johnathanobsolete
extemporaneous1
Visit them often and prod them like cattle with comments so they'll Keep On Blergin'!
Have I mentioned that I am eaten alive with Elbow? Yeah. I accidentally found them on fudgeit.org (hi, Bushra!) as Independent Kitten, and I'll be damned if I'm not having an excessive Elbowfest ever since.
Who am I kidding, I'll be damned in every situation, regardless, I'm sure. Bring it on, universe!
But the first album I got was Cast of Thousands. Tis good. The second was Asleep in the Back. Tis growing on me. To describe them, I'd say that Peter Gabriel and Radiohead had a big two-pack-a-day smoking baby that's almost 38 years old. But this baby is not in a constant bleak mood like Radiohead. Although, yes of course, I will always love Radiohead (snifflesniffle) even though they never write or call anymore ever never ever ever. Too good for me these days, huh? Well. Pablo this, honey.
Man. I'm so facking boring today. Sorry you have to read this.
Anyway, if you are looking for some good music, get some Elbow.
What's my point? I'm not sure I have one. I just wanted to say hey.
And it's Friday, and I'm tired but happy. "Hope yer happy tooo-ooo-oo." -- David Bowie
Also, I'm looking through all the lonely little links I've saved as unrealized, un-gestated Drafts (gross), and they look so sad that I think I'll just throw a couple out here indiscriminately and without much fancies...
If you want a freaky good movie starring Oingo Boingo's Danny Elfman plus a few other half-naked Oingo Boinger's, then rent "Forbidden Zone." In seven words: boobies and big silky Bettie Page panties. And as Ron says: If it wasn't for rock music, some guys like Danny Elfman and (poor dead) Joey Ramone "would never get no play with the ladies". (Hey, he said it, Danny, not me. xox) Make sure you watch the DVD extras to see the interviews. Those people are good-crazy -- dear God, I wish I could've been in Oingo Boingo.
Good Bye, Lenin! -- good movie about the fall of the Berlin Wall in1989 but, see, the guy's mom who's really old school East German, she falls into a coma right before this happens and when she wakes up, the doctor says her heart is too weak to withstand the shock. I suck at explaining this, so just rent it, you'll like it.
ps: if you made it through this post without falling asleep, then congratulations! You just won the Monkey Riding a Dog prize. Make sure you click Video. Enjoy!
No hell no, it's not Danny, Donny, Jingle, Thuggy and Bingochip, it's way better and important -- it's New Kids On The Blog (pronounced "blerg").
Please welcome:
cmedesign
johnathanobsolete
extemporaneous1
Visit them often and prod them like cattle with comments so they'll Keep On Blergin'!
Have I mentioned that I am eaten alive with Elbow? Yeah. I accidentally found them on fudgeit.org (hi, Bushra!) as Independent Kitten, and I'll be damned if I'm not having an excessive Elbowfest ever since.
Who am I kidding, I'll be damned in every situation, regardless, I'm sure. Bring it on, universe!
But the first album I got was Cast of Thousands. Tis good. The second was Asleep in the Back. Tis growing on me. To describe them, I'd say that Peter Gabriel and Radiohead had a big two-pack-a-day smoking baby that's almost 38 years old. But this baby is not in a constant bleak mood like Radiohead. Although, yes of course, I will always love Radiohead (snifflesniffle) even though they never write or call anymore ever never ever ever. Too good for me these days, huh? Well. Pablo this, honey.
Man. I'm so facking boring today. Sorry you have to read this.
Anyway, if you are looking for some good music, get some Elbow.
What's my point? I'm not sure I have one. I just wanted to say hey.
And it's Friday, and I'm tired but happy. "Hope yer happy tooo-ooo-oo." -- David Bowie
Also, I'm looking through all the lonely little links I've saved as unrealized, un-gestated Drafts (gross), and they look so sad that I think I'll just throw a couple out here indiscriminately and without much fancies...
If you want a freaky good movie starring Oingo Boingo's Danny Elfman plus a few other half-naked Oingo Boinger's, then rent "Forbidden Zone." In seven words: boobies and big silky Bettie Page panties. And as Ron says: If it wasn't for rock music, some guys like Danny Elfman and (poor dead) Joey Ramone "would never get no play with the ladies". (Hey, he said it, Danny, not me. xox) Make sure you watch the DVD extras to see the interviews. Those people are good-crazy -- dear God, I wish I could've been in Oingo Boingo.
Good Bye, Lenin! -- good movie about the fall of the Berlin Wall in1989 but, see, the guy's mom who's really old school East German, she falls into a coma right before this happens and when she wakes up, the doctor says her heart is too weak to withstand the shock. I suck at explaining this, so just rent it, you'll like it.
If you don't have Netflix, getttt iiiittttt. I never watched movies much, but you'd be surprised at how you'll watch 'em once they are delivered to your house only to lie around and look pathetic until you watch them and you realize you have spent money for these things and they are turning into more expensive drink coasters by the day.
Ok, do you smell burning wires? It's me, I'm totally burned out for the day. So thanks for reading my babbling smack and I'll be back with something interesting soon I promise.
ps: if you made it through this post without falling asleep, then congratulations! You just won the Monkey Riding a Dog prize. Make sure you click Video. Enjoy!
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
Life is good. Good good good.
"JAY LENO EXITING TONIGHT SHOW IN 2009"
"Jay Leno will step down as host of The Tonight Show in 2009 and turn over the reigns to Conan O'Brien, whose Late Night with Conan O'Brien leads out of The Tonight Show, reports Mediaweek’s John Consoli."
They taste worse than they smell, but my hair is luxurious!
It's taken me way too long to state the obvious, and I do apologize. But for the record and for those keeping score, yes: Muncheros or Salted Prunes with Chili are truly one of God's most incredibly horrible and useless food items I've ever encountered this side of raw sea urchin. That may be an unfair statement to anyone planning on being stranded without hope in the desert. Bring these treats along to suck on, prolonging your life just long enough for you to realize that you have no hope left as you hallucinate your way into a kinder, gentler dimension.
Maybe I don't know what I'm doing with these things. Maybe I was supposed to boil and rehydrate them. Let me describe them to you.
Upon opening the bag, I was instantly teleported back to a humid, barefooted childhood summer. Running carefree through our backyard past the plum tree, its branches hanging low with ripened fruit, I learned the value of footwear. Stepping on a rotting plum was one thing; the pointy pit inside was another. Collapsing to the ground at breakneck speed and skidding through numerous other rotting plums tends to leave a mark, I'd have to say. Another not e of interest: After a surprise crash-and-burn like that, your sense of smell is heightened by the adrenaline rush. It was at that point I collected my thoughts, assessed the damage, and realized that I smelled of burning grass stains and hot sticky tobacco chaw.
Again, I'm from the South. Sadly, I know what a "chaw" smells like. If you don't, simply buy a bag of Salted Prunes with Chili and experience the smell of an actual dried chaw.
Objectively speaking, the most pleasing part of the Salted Prunes (besides the potential of them actually being a newfound taste treat) was their appearance. They looked like soft little chunks of something rolled in cocoa powder. Aside from the smell, how bad could these be? So I tossed one in and bit down. Basically, the only way to describe them are dried-up mold-covered rocks rolled in dehydrated worm dirt (for anyone not from the South, that would be dirt you'd find in a container of fishing worms). Complete with a sharp pit in the center! And basically, the salt was so intense that it just cauterized many a tastebud's sad attempt.
They were so gross, I had to try another one.
Oh, come on, you know how it is. Disbelief: It's the only reason why some guys I've known ever got second dates with the same woman. Disbelief can drive you to do the most illogical things. I have the physical scars to prove it.
But hey, I knew they'd be gross. Luckily, foresight ordered some Japanese Peanuts with Chili to chase the horrific taste out of my mouth. Now let me just say that those little bastards are GOOD.
And because I was running low anyway, I bought a new shampoo by Freida -- Brilliant Brunette Shine Release Shampoo for Darker Shades of Brown Hair Chestnut to Espresso. No pun intended, but it completely rocks. I'm not sure about the shine factor, but the smell is over-powering in a really good way, and the moisturizing formula really does rehydrate a ragged end. It's like the exact opposite of a Salted Prune with Chili. See? Life is good like that.
So kids, let that be a lesson to you: You can't know what's truly good until you experience what's truly bad. And if you plan on going hiking through Death Valley, remember to bring your Salted Prunes -- with or without chili -- live dangerously! But please, children, please wear shoes.
(Thanks to Chip for the enlightening "Product Review, Product Review!" challenge. My hair thanks you! Next product review: Rock Star Energy Drink!)
"JAY LENO EXITING TONIGHT SHOW IN 2009"
"Jay Leno will step down as host of The Tonight Show in 2009 and turn over the reigns to Conan O'Brien, whose Late Night with Conan O'Brien leads out of The Tonight Show, reports Mediaweek’s John Consoli."
They taste worse than they smell, but my hair is luxurious!
It's taken me way too long to state the obvious, and I do apologize. But for the record and for those keeping score, yes: Muncheros or Salted Prunes with Chili are truly one of God's most incredibly horrible and useless food items I've ever encountered this side of raw sea urchin. That may be an unfair statement to anyone planning on being stranded without hope in the desert. Bring these treats along to suck on, prolonging your life just long enough for you to realize that you have no hope left as you hallucinate your way into a kinder, gentler dimension.
Maybe I don't know what I'm doing with these things. Maybe I was supposed to boil and rehydrate them. Let me describe them to you.
Upon opening the bag, I was instantly teleported back to a humid, barefooted childhood summer. Running carefree through our backyard past the plum tree, its branches hanging low with ripened fruit, I learned the value of footwear. Stepping on a rotting plum was one thing; the pointy pit inside was another. Collapsing to the ground at breakneck speed and skidding through numerous other rotting plums tends to leave a mark, I'd have to say. Another not e of interest: After a surprise crash-and-burn like that, your sense of smell is heightened by the adrenaline rush. It was at that point I collected my thoughts, assessed the damage, and realized that I smelled of burning grass stains and hot sticky tobacco chaw.
Again, I'm from the South. Sadly, I know what a "chaw" smells like. If you don't, simply buy a bag of Salted Prunes with Chili and experience the smell of an actual dried chaw.
Objectively speaking, the most pleasing part of the Salted Prunes (besides the potential of them actually being a newfound taste treat) was their appearance. They looked like soft little chunks of something rolled in cocoa powder. Aside from the smell, how bad could these be? So I tossed one in and bit down. Basically, the only way to describe them are dried-up mold-covered rocks rolled in dehydrated worm dirt (for anyone not from the South, that would be dirt you'd find in a container of fishing worms). Complete with a sharp pit in the center! And basically, the salt was so intense that it just cauterized many a tastebud's sad attempt.
They were so gross, I had to try another one.
Oh, come on, you know how it is. Disbelief: It's the only reason why some guys I've known ever got second dates with the same woman. Disbelief can drive you to do the most illogical things. I have the physical scars to prove it.
But hey, I knew they'd be gross. Luckily, foresight ordered some Japanese Peanuts with Chili to chase the horrific taste out of my mouth. Now let me just say that those little bastards are GOOD.
And because I was running low anyway, I bought a new shampoo by Freida -- Brilliant Brunette Shine Release Shampoo for Darker Shades of Brown Hair Chestnut to Espresso. No pun intended, but it completely rocks. I'm not sure about the shine factor, but the smell is over-powering in a really good way, and the moisturizing formula really does rehydrate a ragged end. It's like the exact opposite of a Salted Prune with Chili. See? Life is good like that.
So kids, let that be a lesson to you: You can't know what's truly good until you experience what's truly bad. And if you plan on going hiking through Death Valley, remember to bring your Salted Prunes -- with or without chili -- live dangerously! But please, children, please wear shoes.
(Thanks to Chip for the enlightening "Product Review, Product Review!" challenge. My hair thanks you! Next product review: Rock Star Energy Drink!)
Thursday, September 23, 2004
A friendly reminder:
Logo comps are due Monday. And the client hateyhatehates crowns, so do not include them.
Also, soon to come:
The breathlessly awaited "Product Review, Product Review!" of my super-special WalGreens shipment suggested by Chip.
The suspense has already weakened three innocent onlookers and nearly killed an old lady in Pittsburg, so I apologize for any fatal delay. Mooo ha haaa.
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
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