My first attempt at that crazy thing called "meme".

Please allow time to enjoy the webcammy goodness of this post.


tagged by bushra. (yoohoooo, 'lo, bushra!)


4 jobs I've had in my life:

1. Working at a pizza place in high school: best job I've ever had in my life.
My boss built a man out of crumpled up newspapers and clothing from in the lost-and-found box, put it on trial and found it guilty for sodomy, then burned it in the parking lot. When the police came, they just shook their heads, put it out, and came in for the policeman discount + beer. While I can never devise such evil plans myself, I belong in the middle of these plans. I see they are still in business somewhere. Our location went bankrupt. Go figure!

2. *Designing* institutional wallpaper: worst job I ever had in my life.
But interestingly enough, the designer I replaced had designed a human skull hidden into every wallpaper design he did. His assistant showed me. It was beautiful, and I wonder where that guy ended up because I'd like to have known him. Anyway, I quit after 3 days when they tried to make me wash the gigantic silkscreens, unmasked and with toxic spray. If I want to cropdust myself, I'll do it on my own time thanks. So I called in the next day and told him "a monkey could do that job." Little did I know what my fate would surely become one day.

3. Advertising agency designer and copywriter.
Basically, it had its mixed moments of Praise God and Hail Satan.

4. Currently, work as an Interactive Designer and Writer.
At this very moment, I'm conducting an independent study of ICR or Internet Capabilities Research. For those unable to read between the lines, I'm what some might say "dicking around on the internet." But those people who think that have got it allllll wrong, baby. All wrong. Us ICRers will own you one day...oops, damn! I've said too much. Next question...



4 movies I can watch over and over again:

1. "Raising Arizona"
2. "Dancing Outlaw"
3. "American Movie"
4. "Rushmore"
...I know these don't count as movies, but I could watch"The Office","Ali G", and "Strangers with Candy" until I glazed over like a Krispy Kreme donut.


4 places I have lived:

1. Jackson "The Bold New City" Mississippi, model town of the future
2. another midsize model town in Mississippi, yet with a water feature in the form of a reservoir, so "nice"
3. does the mad stint in Atlanta, Georgia count?
4. by the river in Memphis, Tennessee


4 TV shows I love to watch:

1. "Arrested Development" (cancelled! those bastards!)
2. "Reno 911!"
3. "The Colbert Report" (it's the only reason I keep the cable)
4. it's a tie between "E! True Hollywood Stories" and "Cold Case Files"


4 places I have been on vacation:

1. London to Paris
2. Munich to Hohenschwangau/Neuschwanstein
3. Nice to Monaco to Barcelona and Monserrat
4. Chicago to New York to Niagara Falls, Ontario, Canada
sorry, have to list one more: and a suprisingly wonderful (and free) Disney cruise to the Bahamas and Castaway Cay. No, really, it was extremely nice. Thank you, Scott R.



4 websites I visit daily:

1. newstoday.com
2. a9.com for all searches
3. google.com for personalized homepage...man, I am a goob...anyway....
4. recently found: gawker

4 favourite foods:

1. sushi/sashimi - anything but sea urchin, dear God, not the sea urchin
2. pho ga and spring rolls with shrimp, no pork
3. sopa de pollo and a frozen margarita or two
4. freakin' birthday cake - I don't care what kind, it's all good.



4 places I'd rather be right now:

1. with my parents, doing some senseless shopping, laughing at how they phrase things and the stories they tell, drinking coffee and splitting desserts, then dinner with home-grown vegetables, tiny wine, and then on to as much Ted Danson as my mother can exhume from syndication. She just loves that man. I had no idea.
2. anywhere in France would work, but I'll take Paris in the park in the rowboat again, with a giant chocolate-iced cookie and warm red wine in a plastic cup. Or Nice. That place was gorgeous.
3. anywhere in Canada. Or "Portland: The Other Canada". Or Chicago - hey, wait. I'm going there in April, huzzah and hellsyeah.
4. Inside the mind of Karl Pilkington, "Master of Confusionism (tm)". I just trademarked that, Ricky, so we'll get together, and you can break me off some cash.


4 people I'll tag with this list of questions meme:

Jesse's mom
Zoey?
Meredith?
Bubba, you need a blog so I could tag you.
anyone else? Sir Bri-Mixalot?
How about you, Brokeback AngryCzeck?

...Bueller? ..... ...Bueller?*

*ooo, which reminds me, I could watch that movie over and over, too.







So I got wordy, what's new, that was fun.

ps: a big thumbs-up in advance to Meredith!

One more reason why it's best I don't have kids.

Because if he was mine and he did this, then I couldn't respect myself
if my beatings didn't pound the little bastard into a meatball.

Hey, at least I admit it.

Ok, I wouldn't beat a child.

Sheesh. I'd just leave him to
fend for himself at a truck stop in Arizona.
If he was my kid, he'd figure it out and
make some friends along the way...
Better make some cash, too,
to bring home to Mumsie...
Because if he's not my kid, then
I'll be plenty pissed unless he forks over some 20s.



Does anyone else have Spring Fever, or is it just me?


I've been out taking pictures with the POS. I've just started,
only one set of far, but it's definitely spring.
Better take more soon before summer comes and melts the asphalt.

Learn something new everyday. 1. New word for the day: meme Who knew! Use it daily. I read it three times already and still don't fully comprehend it, but I think actually I do it everyday. More caffeine for me-meeeeee. 2. Make sure your insurance policies are current. Check this oddly divine video of car crashes on totallycrap.com, via a9 search for meme. 3. Eat more Ksar Blend from Sahale Snacks. It's so good I can't even describe it unless I use my hands. Did you see what I just did with my hands? No? Well, nevermind - go, now, get your own today! Oh my sweet lord, no wonder I'm walking death. This tea has no caffeine. Why why why??

"M-mm...more water soup, ma, plllleaase?"

Oh, shit. If I can't work in the salt mines anymore,
where shall I work...whatever shall I do...

Invest in sea salt futures? Ok!


+++++


Oooo, whaddya think...iLawsuit?
Aw come on, Apple. It's not like I can wear it around my neck and dance with it!
Unless it comes in PINK!



+++++


Speaking of pink: Cupcakes! In Chicago?
Great! I'm planning on being there in April anyway.

(How 'bout it, Tara...you up for a cupcake pilgrimage with me?)

Oh damn, they even have pupcakes.



+++++


And finally,

you are so right, Jacquie, these lejo puppet shows are...strangely...addictive.





Oh, and I have a random prediction for no reason:

Harpsichords will be making a big comeback sometime soon.
No, really. Mark my words. Look, I don't know why I know this.
But trust the intuition of someone who can keep a sweater
for 13 years until it comes back in style again.
Or,
did it never go out of style to begin with...hmmmm?

You're right. "Who cares."

I misread this as Deliciously Diaper Cupcake.

That'd change just everything, wouldn't it?
I could definitely sell them for a hell of a lot more if so.

ps: No, I'm not throwing an Oscar party or
dressing up cupcakes with M&M's like a gaybait.
I normally don't go to the movies because,
besides such blockbusters as "Big Momma's Big Butt" and so on,
I'm too busy watching unclassic, crappy movies like this -
which, in most states, might make me more of a geek than a gaybait.

ps on that ps: Oh yeah, it was an excruciatingly
bad attempt at a movie. My feet could have done a better job
puppetteering with toe socks and flip-flops -
which, in this case, gives me an idea...

Well, alright.

Explains why I can't find a decent parking space.



+++++

This is what the OK Go "Oh No" CD looks like on the outside.
Nice wrapper. I hated to rip it.
I'd love to tell you all what it's like on the inside,
like on the CD, but for now I can't.
Not until I make myself completely deaf
with this one song, "A Million Ways."

OK Go...
I love you.

Especially, of course, that tall, skinny one
Yeah you, Damian.
Oh no, don't you worry. I'll get in line.

"A Million Ways" Dance by OK Go.
OK Impressive!

Big note to all those headphoned people like me:
Watch out for the first 3 seconds of this clip. Mui, very loud.

"White people are crazy...crazy and nasty..."

- Raineesha Williams, Reno 911


I'm sure I'm just jealous or something.
Xaviera seems fascinating enough.
(I just shouldn't have clicked the "Related Pictures" photo.
Looks like a gross of canned biscuit dough exploded.)
I do like her earrings in her photo, though.
I have a similar fish charm hanging off me purse.



Still, people are insane to pay money to stand around naked.
That's where I must be jealous of this woman:
I must start my own cult.

Speaking of lumps, beer, and webcams...

And finally,


Borat, Gypsy Remover...

plus, "How to Dance Like a White Guy"

And, uno dang good commerciale.
Actually, one of the best I've ever seen.
So buenos noches, and enjoy!

It's been a monkey kind of week so far.

Got obsessed with The Monkees
(it was Valentine's Day that caused that).
Then found some extremely cool space monkey screensavers
from the Gorillaz. Then I got bit on the head
by a wild/annoyed/escaped Resus lab monkey,
and then I died. But I got better.

As always, glad the weekend is spittin' distance away.
And yes, I do disgust even myself saying colloquialisms such as that.


Which reminds me:
I found my old POS camera!

Where?
In the beer box in my car!

Really?
"What's the beer box?" you're asking.
I caught myself asking the same thing, too,
when my brain automatically screamed
"THE BEER BOX"at me.
It's the console in between the driver and passenger seats
where you stow your open beer, just perfect
because it keeps the beer
from tipping over while you're cruisin'
around the Krystal parking lot
in your parent's car every Friday and Saturday night.*

See? I totally forgot that bit about me
growing up in the deep South, too.
And there are numerous reasons for that.

Boy. Having your brain scream things like that at you
is the equivalent of that scene in a zombie movie, y'know,
where the living, clawed hand shoots up
from that freshly turned grave.

In other words, promise me this:
That you will shoot to kill me if I ever worked the phrase
"Git 'Er Dunnn" into any conversation.
Any.



*But I promise you, I wasn't listening to The Eagles,
Chicago, or Journey. It was The Beastie Boys, Madness,
and Adam Ant.

Good question. Find out here.


"How can I stick it to The Man on gas prices?"
Another good question! Read here.

News anchor beamed from the tv this morning:
"Electricity prices are on the rise again,
that story and more, coming up..."
Oh yeah?! Take that, Helmet Hair!


"What can make my laptop and me more popular with the girlies?"
Well, this is an excellent start.
Also, toss in some jewelry or cash. It never hurts.


News Flash: ""VP shoots man in hunt error"
Real News Flash: "VP *accidentally* made billions rebuilding Iraq, too"


Nevermind that: Cupcakes!